Week Fifteen 2014: Giants vs Reskins

The Giants got their fifth win of the season last Sunday against the Redskins. It's not saying much against the woeful Redskins, but this win is important. This win might be the reason why Coach Coughlin won't get a pink slip in his stocking on Christmas morning. But, other than that, the game didn't mean much.

Eli had a good game. Three touchdowns (all to Odell Beckham Jr.), and no turnovers, which is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The running game was nothing short of disappointing. Like expecting to get toys your grandparents when you're a kid, and getting nothing but socks, and sweaters.

Obviously, Odell Beckham Jr. shined as bright as Rudolph's red nose. The rest of the receivers had the same effect as Ben Affleck's holiday smash hit colossal failure, Surviving Christmas! Now to be fair I've never seen it, but I feel confident that it's a steaming pile of reindeer polp.

This belongs on the Mount Rushmore of awful Affleck movies. It's right up there with Gigli, and Daredevil.

The line protected Eli well. They only gave up one sack. They just couldn't create running lanes for the running game.

Defense played well throughout the game. For a small period of time, I was worried that this game was going to spark the "Is RG3 back?!" conversation amongst the great pontificators in the media. However, the play that made me think he was back (that touchdown run at the end of the first half) was ruled to be not a touchdown, it was all downhill for the Redskins. RG3 took a beating from the Giants' defense. With every ensuing possession, Griffin looked more and more like Tiny Tim if his crutch kept of getting kicked out from underneath him.


Buy This Guy A Beer: The only reason that RG3's touchdown was overturned, and the Giants got back all the momentum was Jason Pierre-Paul. He ran as fast as the Polar Express to the quarterback when he was running towards the endzone, and right before Griffin crossed the plane, JPP hit his arm and knocked the ball loose. The ball was never officially recovered, and it was ruled to not be a touchdown. Which then lead to Santana Moss saying things to the officials that got him tossed from the game, and more importantly, landed him on the naughty list.

Hope you like coal, Santana.

Onto The Next One: The Giants travel west to St. Louis to face a Rams' defense as stingy as Ebenezer Scrooge. The Rams disguise their pass rushes really well. They do it even better then the Eagles. I know you remember what happened there. Hopefully the offensive line, which is softer than Santa's beard, is up to the task. If not, Eli is gonna get beaten up like Scut Farkus (I double checked. It's Scut not Scott).

Let's face it, Eli definitely has that coon skin hat at home. There's no way he doesn't.

I really don't think the Giants are up to the task here. Schwarzenegger had a better chance of finding a Turbo Man doll, than the Giants have of leaving St. Louis with a win. 

So What Have I Learned?

There's always one player on the Redskins' secondary that isn't good enough to hang with good receivers and has to commit penalties when they get beat. On this team it's Bashaud Breeland. 

Rueben Randle will not be a Giant next year.

Thank God there's a team in the NFC East that the Giants can beat.