Week Eleven 2014: Giants vs 49ers

The New York Giants stink. There’s no other way around it. No amount of scented candles, hanging trees, or air freshener sprays can mask the stink of the Giants this year. Last week I compared their stench to week old garbage in a sauna, but now I think the stench can be compared to Jabba the Hutt’s breath.

There are some things that you can smell by using your eyes.

I accepted the fact that the Giants would lose to the 49ers. I made my peace with that the Wednesday before the game. But the fact that Big Blue had the game in their grasps and literally threw their chances away (thanks, Eli), makes this loss unbearable.

Even though he’s played much better this year, this loss falls squarely on the shoulders of Eli Manning. He threw a whopping five interceptions against San Francisco. FIVE! I know Eli is prone to making mistakes but this was a meltdown fit for a Salvador Dali painting. Usually when we see the Eli face, it’s preceded by a mistake made by Rueben Randle. But this wasn’t the case on all of his picks. If I could stomach watching those interceptions over again, I’d see how many of these picks were due to Randle not knowing where he is on this planet. 

"THROW A PICK AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHAF*CKA!"

Interceptions aside, he made some other mistakes. Specifically, I’m talking about when the Giants were facing a first and goal from the four yard line. Remember, this is the new set of downs after Beckham made that incredible catch along the sideline? Well, Big Blue ran four straight fade passes into the end zone without running the ball once. NOT ONCE! Offensive coordinator, Ben McAdoo, who has to ice his back after throwing a grown man under the bus, told reporters that he called for two run plays and Eli changed the plays to passes.

¡OLÉ!

I really didn’t think the offensive line could get any worse. But it turns out I was wrong, very wrong. We all know Justin Pugh isn’t having a good year. So when he got hurt and left the game I didn’t think much of absence. But then Charles Brown came in to replace him. He played less like a right tackle, and more like a matador. Needless to say, it was a bit of a problem during the course of the game.

Even Rashad Jennings, who probably isn’t back at full health yet, struggled this game. I know the 49ers play against the run very well, but it’s disheartening to see because the reemergence of Jennings was supposed to add a dimension to the offense and give the passing game some breathing room.

As always, the receiving corps (aside from Beckham) need help. Randle got banged up twice this game. Now, I’m not a big fan of this guy, but what the hell are the Giants going to do if he gets hurt and misses substantial time? Would we finally see Corey Washington in a full-time roll? I’m not rooting for an injury, I’d never do that, but if that’s what would happen I’d be compelled to throw a few banana peels in front of ol’ Ruebes and roll the dice.

The defense actually played well this game. They were the only reason why the Giants had a shot of winning that game. They gave up yards, but they only allowed one touchdown. That touchdown was a forty-eight yard play. It wasn’t a touchdown that capped off a ten play, ninety yard drive. It was encouraging to see the Giants play this way of defense. They were fired up and they played smart.

On to the next one:
I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached the point in the season where we need to start sifting through this garbage to find moral victories. Beating Dallas at home would be one of those moral victories.
The fact that the Giants defense has been playing considerably worse since their last meeting concerns me quite a bit.
Hopefully the offense can rebound after embarrassing themselves like a kid wetting himself at his first boy/girl party. Geoff Schwartz coming back from injury to replace Justin Pugh can hopefully plug one of the many holes in this sinking lifeboat.

So What Have I Learned?

Ben McAdoo still has to get used to the New York media, which has slightly more teeth than the Wisconsin media. The Green Bay reporters have the teeth equivalent to a goldfish;  New Yorkers have teeth like a great white shark. I understand McAdoo was being honest, but throwing the blame on someone else isn’t how you handle the media. All of the times receivers ran the wrong routes, or dropped balls that resulted in turnovers, Eli never blamed the receivers.

Snitches get stitches, Ben.

Antrel Rolle thinks that Big Blue can run the table and finish the season with nine wins and a have a chance to make the playoffs. In related news, you can see Rolle at the local 7-11 buying a crap-ton of scratch off lottery tickets.

Maybe I should’ve cut Andre Williams some slack on his lack of production the past couple of weeks. It’s hard to say if his struggles were because of his ability, his inexperience, or the line blocking for him.

Oh, and the Giants stink. But, I think you already knew that.