2015 Offseason Recap and Draft Preview

In only a few days, representatives from all thirty-two teams from the NFL will congregate in Chicago, much to the dismay of angry Jets’ fans everywhere, with the hopes to draft a bunch of twenty-one year old kids who could make their teams instantly better. Well, that's the idea, anyway.

And in this year’s draft, the New York Giants will try to rebuild their dilapidated house of a team. Unfortunately, it would probably take a super powered lovechild of Bob Vila and Al Borland to rebuild this team into playoff ready condition in one year. That’s a lot of beard, and a lot of flannel.

But, before we dive into the draft, let’s talk briefly about free agency. For the most part, the time between the end of the regular season was as drawn out an uneventful as Eli’s post game interviews.

A huge hole for the G-Men if their offensive line, and they certainly left no stone unturned when they signed a center from the Calgary Stampeders named Brett Jones. I know what you’re thinking, “A guy from Calgary named Bret(t)? He must be the excellence of execution!”
Well, he comes to the Giants off the heels of a very successful season. His team won the Grey Cup, he was an all-star, and he won the league’s Most Outstanding Lineman Award. I know Jones won’t be the best there is, was, and ever will be. The competition in the CFL is nowhere near the caliber of the competition in the NFL. But the best in an inferior league probably equates to good in a superior league, right?

Hopefully our new lineman will give his sunglasses away to young kids in the front row when he's leaving the tunnel.

With losing two big defensive players in Antrel Rolle and Mathias Kiwanuka, the Giants tried to revamp their defense a bit through free agency. Big Blue gave it a shot, I guess, by signing linebackers Jonathan Casillas, and J.T. Thomas. They also signed defensive tackle Kenrick Ellis.

The biggest free agent acquisition for the Giants this off-season has to be Shane Vereen. The former Patriot really excels as a pass catching running back, which is perfect for Ben McAdoo’s system. Especially since Rashad Jennings can have trouble staying healthy, and Andre Williams takes to the passing game like Dracula takes to sunbathing.

So after this period of relative free agency sleepwalking, the Giants still have a lot of holes to fill. Luckily, the Giants have the unfortunate fortune of having the ninth pick in this year’s draft. Because when you lose enough games to obtain a top ten pick, chances are you aren’t exactly playing with the ’92 Dream Team.

Yeah, they were pretty good at basketball, but NOBODY could touch them in the hula-hoop event.

Now, I’m not a draft expert for ESPN. I don’t look like Count Von Count, or the douchey frat boy spawn of Craig Kilborn, so nobody will take my opinion seriously. I mean, the son of Kilborn had the Giants taking Todd Gurley with their first pick in a recent mock draft. That’s the kind of outside-the-box thinking that earns you the title “Draft Expert”, because if there’s one thing the Giants need, it’s four running backs.
In all honesty, I would’ve probably said the same thing last year about the Giants’ draft needs. I was blown away, and let’s face it, annoyed, when the Giants took Odell Beckham over Zack Martin last year. I didn't think that wide receiver was a big enough priority for the G-Men. Although Martin turned out to be a great lineman for the Cowboys, I don’t regret the Giants picking ODB for a second. Regardless, Gurley is an absurd prediction, and it will never happen.

From everything that I’ve watched last season and this off-season, the three position needs where Big Blue’s first pick would be put to great use are offensive line, defensive line, and linebacker. Let’s take a look at possible candidates for this pick.

"Is the pass rush gone yet?"

It seems that the most popular pick is Brandon Scherff, the offensive guard from Iowa. This pick makes a ton of sense. There were times last year when Eli didn’t even have time to make bad decisions in the pocket. Sometimes, all he could do was drop to the ground and play dead like Woody in Toy Story when Andy was running to his room. Other times, running backs trying to run through holes that offensive line was like trying to make your way through Hampton’s traffic 4th of July weekend.
In 2014, Scherff was the Big Ten Lineman of the Year, and a consensus first team All-American. He can play both guard and tackle, which is useful for how the Giants mix and match their offensive line.
Other potential players include Ereck Flowers, and Andrus Peat.

For the other side of the trench, USC Leonard Williams will most likely be off the board before nine. So it looks like the most common pick is Washington’s defensive tackle  Danny Shelton. All you have to look at to know the Giants need defensive line help desperately is the game against the Cowboys in late November. Most people will remember that game as the Odell catch game, but I sometimes think that's the game where Tony Romo had centuries to throw the game winning touchdown pass. Romo’s pass to Dez Bryant was a direct result of the defensive line giving Dallas five seconds to make that play happen. You cannot give Romo that kind of time in the pocket, and it’s impossible to cover Dez for five seconds.
Shelton has a lot of raw, natural talent. Now that usually equates to someone who is just a physical beast that just runs around aimlessly causing havoc, like a drunk Godzilla (see Pierre-Paul, Jason). But, he is an academic All-American. That means he is wicked smaht. The idea of Danny Shelton teaming up with Steve Spagnuolo, along with his nipple-high pants, is something to be really exited about.
Other potential players include Shane Ray. 
Update: Shane Ray will not be drafted by the Giants considering that he doesn’t know how to act like a grown up and stop smoking weed while getting ready to be a professional football player. Good job, dummy.

The line backing position hasn’t really had any consistent play makers since Antonio Pierce was at the helm. Jon Beason has been great for the Giants, unfortunately, the man just can’t stay healthy. The emergence of Devon Kennard last year gives Giants’ fans a glimmer of hope for the future of this position. In this years draft, there are two edge rushers that look like they can make an immediate impact. One is Dante Fowler, Jr. from Florida, and the other is Vic Beasley from Clemson. I think the Giants have very little chance to get Fowler. Let me clarify for emphasis, Jon Beason has a better chance of avoiding an MRI machine this year than the Giants do of getting Fowler. There is a better chance of Beasley getting scooped up by Big Blue.
Either one of these guys would be a great asset to the team. However, I don’t really see these guys falling to the nine spot.

Now that we talked about their draft priorities, let’s talk about the “best available” picks that are a possibility. The Giants have always liked the philosophy of drafting the best available player. It’s this philosophy that was responsible for draft ODB instead of Zack Martin last year.

In the mock drafts that I’ve seen, Alabama’s Amari Cooper seems to be the most popular wide receiver to be drafted by the Giants. He’s the top rated receiver coming out this year, but he’s not the only receiver that’s a possibility. West Virginia’s Kevin White seems to be drafted everywhere from the fourth pick to the twelfth pick, so he can fall right into the Giants' lap.
Both of these guys have something different to offer the Giants, but one thing they both offer is insurance if Cruz isn’t as healthy as he expects to be by September. And if Cruz is healthy, the combination of Cruz, Beckham, and Cooper/White could be very dangerous. Also the tutelage of Cruz and even Beckham will be very useful for any rookie receiver, but for the love of God, keep them away from Rueben Randle.

Another possible route they can go is that of the secondary. Michigan State corner back Trae Waynes will be a great nickel back behind the Fresh Prince and DRC. He’s crazy fast, loves contact, and his mental toughness is a tremendous fit for the Giants’ locker room.

In a few short days all of this prognostication and dart board guesswork will all come into fruition, and we will be reminded once again that “expert” is only a word used to gain viewers. I am very interested in seeing what the G-Men will do during the draft.

The mechanical Batsuit looks cool, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

As of right now, I view the Giants’ 2015 season as I do the Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice trailer. There are parts of it that I’m optimistic about, but there’s a good chance it could let everyone down. Will the draft make me so optimistic that I view the upcoming season as the Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens trailer? I don’t think so, but then again, I’m no “expert”.

So What Have I Learned?

The Giants really can’t go wrong with their first pick. If they stay away from McShay’s brilliant Todd Gurley pick, they should be in good shape.

They have many different ways to make their team better, and after the amazing draft Reese had last year, I have a lot of faith they can do it again this time around.

The draft will not be the same without the rowdy, perpetually disappointed Jets’ fans. I sure hope a bunch of them travel to the Windy City for Thursday night. 

Mike from Happauge was awfully confused when he went to Radio City and saw Rockettes instead of Roger Goodell. 

Week Seventeen 2014: Giants vs Eagles

The Giants’ 2014 season has mercifully ended, fittingly with a loss against the Eagles.

You know what the Giants are lacking? Explosiveness.

The last game of the season was against the hated Philadelphia Eagles. Just like every Giants’ game for the past four weeks, this had zero playoff implications. It would have been nice if the Eagles needed to beat the Giants to make the playoffs, and then the Giants beat them to prevent them from going to the dance, but that isn’t the world we live in. People get away with murder, Michael Bay keeps on making movies, and the Giants couldn’t play spoiler to the Eagles. But even if the Giants were in a situation to get some revenge, who says they'd actually win anyway?

If I had to sum this game up in one word, it would be “penalties”. The Giants had a real shot of winning this game but Big Blue had a lot of good plays that were nullified by dumb penalties.
Here are some examples:
- The Stevie Brown interception didn’t count because of a pass interference penalty. After that penalty, the Eagles were only a few yards from scoring a touchdown, and that’s exactly what they did.
- Also, an offensive pass interference call on Rueben Randle when the Giants were knocking on the door of the end zone. The Giants had to settle for a field goal there.
- A thirty-four yard touchdown from Eli to Randle was nullified because of a holding penalty on Will Beatty. They, again, had to settle for a field goal.
The Giants committed eight penalties for just over one hundred yards.

I swear, the officials should have a flag specifically for the Giants' offensive line.

Eli threw for four hundred and twenty nine yards, but only for one touchdown. He also threw the ball fifty three times and only completed twenty eight of them. You don’t need to be Albert Einstein to figure out that’s not acceptable. Actually, you could be a third grader with a pencil and paper and work it out. And, of course, his last throw of this season was an interception.

The offensive line didn’t give up any sacks, but they didn’t play great either. They have a lot of trouble creating lanes for the running game, and they commit bad penalties at really inconvenient times. 

Bro, do you even lift?

Odell put together another incredible game. He put up twelve catches for one hundred and eighty-five yards. One of those catches was a sixty-three yard touchdown. This just adds on to his stellar rookie season. To say he’s made an impact for the Giants is to say that The Incredible Hulk is strong.
Rueben Randle also put together a great game. With his performance the last coupe of games, he’s been making a good argument to not get kicked to the curb by the Giants.

The rushing attack had all the might of a sleeping four year old. Andre Williams and Rashad Jennings could only total seventy-six yards rushing.

This week's loss does fall on the defense’s inability to stop the hurricane force that is Mark Sanchez. The defense also gave up over one hundred and sixty yards on the ground.
Special teams also screwed the pooch a bit here too. A blocked Weatherford punt led to an Eagles’ touchdown.

On To The Next One: The Giants, sadly, have no more games left. They were not good enough to get into the playoffs. But there are big things coming up for the Giants, like who will be wearing G-Men gear in 2015.
This year’s draft saved Jerry Reese’s job. Beckham Jr., Richburg, Williams, and Kennard all made immediate contributions to this Giants this year. With an early pick in the upcoming draft, Reese has the opportunity to have back to back great drafts.
We know now that Coughlin and McAdoo won’t be voted off the island. I have zero problem with those decisions. The players haven’t quit on Coughlin and McAdoo’s system looks like it can be the real deal.
Where I think there should be changes is with defensive coordinator Perry Fewell, and special teams coordinator, Tom Quinn. It seems that Fewell’s defense can only work if the right parts are there, and the Giants just don’t have the parts. They might need someone who can make adjustment with the talent (or lack thereof).
I have no idea why Tom Quinn is still around. He’s like a Batman villain, he keeps on coming back. Every year, his special teams unit makes costly mistakes, or under performs and every off-season he somehow escapes the Giants’ Arkham Asylum ready to wreak havoc again.

Oh look, Tom Quinn is hard at work scheming a new return game.

But the truth is, the Giants are loyal, almost to a fault. They hold onto guys for too long. I’d like to see a change at defensive and special teams coordinators, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they are back in 2015.

So What Have I Learned?

It’s been a long season for the G-Men. They had both good and bad moments, but unfortunately the bad outweighed the good in a major way. The new offense looks to work, especially with Odell Beckham Jr., but the offensive line needs more work than a meth addict’s teeth.
The defense showed glimpses of dominance, but they need just as much work as the offensive line.

I’m sure there will be re-signings that don’t make sense, and I’m sure guys will be cut that will make most people upset. However, I can’t begin to speculate on what players will be wearing Giants’ uniforms next year. It’s the NFL, you have a better shot of predicting who will survive in the A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Who knows who will be on the Giants' chopping block.

Week Sixteen 2014: Giants at Rams

I honestly though that the Giants were going to get their asses handed to them when they played the Rams. Instead, the G-Men put up thirty seven points on the Rams defense, who have never given up that amount of points so far this season, and only gave up twelve point in the three games prior to their meeting against the Giants. This game was meaningless as getting Stevie Wonder a big screen 3D T.V. for Christmas. But it didn't stop the teams from fighting like the Jets and the Sharks (the gangs, not the hockey teams).

The Rams have a reputation of playing dirty in this league. They have the most amount of penalty yards, but the fourth most number of penalties committed. That means a good amount of their penalties are of the personal foul, fifteen yard variety. And the Rams made it very clear that they were targeting Odell Beckham Jr. for termination. So the Giants knowing all of this arrived in St. Louis ready to fight. Needless to say, the game started off as an absolute sh*t show. Big Blue started off the game like Team USA in first period of the Junior Goodwill Games Championship against Iceland. With DeOssie hitting a guy out of bounds, Josh Brown kicking someone in the face, and not to mention the brawl that broke out because of the ODB/Alec Ogletree altercation, all it needed was Eli lassoing a Rams defender for trying to take a cheap shot at Beckham.

Josh Brown's mule kick was only one incident in a game full of incidents.

It was a good win for the Giants. Yeah, the win doesn't miraculously get them into the playoffs, but they fought hard for each other. I mean literally fought. After the game when players were asked about the fight, they'd use words like "family" and "we have each others backs". That's something that you want to see out of a football team. If nothing else, the team hasn't given up and is still fighting.

C'mon Odell, let's get outta here. Don't listen to what those bad men are saying.

 Eli had an incredible game. Probably one of his best games in a long time, if not ever. He completed almost eighty percent of his passes for almost four hundred yards, and threw three touchdowns. He also only got sacked once. He was on point the entire game.

Andre Williams rushed for one hundred and ten yards against a tough run defense. He is really starting to show signs of being a very reliable running back. Orleans Darkwa also came onto the running scene with his first career touchdown.

The receivers were on fire this game. What else can I say about Odell Beckham Jr.? When the game started, he was very... let's say excitable. He didn't exactly do a good job of easing the tension between the two teams. But after halftime, he settled down and continued to make his case for offensive rookie of the year. All of the great plays he made against the Rams, the most impressive was his ability to evade the dirty torpedo hit attempted by T.J. McDonald, which resulted in cornerback E.J. Gaines getting a concussion. It was almost like he teleported around the mid-air McDonald.

I never want to see a player get hurt. But I have to admit that I felt no sympathy when this happened. This is what happens when your team is chock full of guys who take cheap shots. McDonald should have been fined.

Even Rueben Randle had a big game. I guess not pissing off Coach Coughlin by showing up late to meetings paid off.

The offensive line was able to keep the Rams pass rush in check. Granted they had like thirty holding penalties, but they still only have up one sack.

The defense played fine against the Rams. Despite a good rush from the defensive line, Shaun Hill threw for almost three hundred, and got two touchdowns. Some players like Kerry Wynn stepped up in a big way during this game. JPP also added another sack to his season's total. I'm not sure if he's coming around, or if it's just the teams he's been playing lately. I think it's the latter.

The game meant nothing, but the Giants played like the season was on the line. It was refreshing to see.

Buy This Guy a Beer: Undrafted free agent, Kerry Wynn, had a huge impact on the Giants' defense. He had a sack, an interception, and a fumble recovery. That's like getting defensive lineman Bingo.

Could this be the next unexpected star of the Giants?

On To The Next One: The Giants play the Eagles this week. The game means absolutely nothing to either team. But it is the Giants and the Eagles we're talking about here. They get along worse than the Ghostbusters and the EPA's Walter Peck. Looks like this will be another meaningless game that will be played like the NFC Championship game. It would be very nice for the Giants to get some revenge after their terrible game against the Eagles a few months back.

"Yes it's true, this man has no d*ck."

So what have I learned?
  

DANG! That bite hurt!

This new offense has given Eli the radioactive spider bite that his career needs. Obviously he isn't at the Rodgers, Brady, or Peyton level, I'm not delusional. But this season Eli hasn't only been sharp, but he's been way more consistent. And let's face it, if anyone on the Giants is Spider-Man, it's Odell. 

I know Beckham can do it all. But let's not have him stand behind center while Eli lines up at wide out.

The Rams are a bunch of dirt bags. What do you expect from the defensive coordinator who encouraged his players to injure opponents?

Giants are showing a great deal of heart and determination. They definitely aren't mailing it in. That might hurt come April, but right now it's good to see them not quit. 

Week Fifteen 2014: Giants vs Reskins

The Giants got their fifth win of the season last Sunday against the Redskins. It's not saying much against the woeful Redskins, but this win is important. This win might be the reason why Coach Coughlin won't get a pink slip in his stocking on Christmas morning. But, other than that, the game didn't mean much.

Eli had a good game. Three touchdowns (all to Odell Beckham Jr.), and no turnovers, which is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

The running game was nothing short of disappointing. Like expecting to get toys your grandparents when you're a kid, and getting nothing but socks, and sweaters.

Obviously, Odell Beckham Jr. shined as bright as Rudolph's red nose. The rest of the receivers had the same effect as Ben Affleck's holiday smash hit colossal failure, Surviving Christmas! Now to be fair I've never seen it, but I feel confident that it's a steaming pile of reindeer polp.

This belongs on the Mount Rushmore of awful Affleck movies. It's right up there with Gigli, and Daredevil.

The line protected Eli well. They only gave up one sack. They just couldn't create running lanes for the running game.

Defense played well throughout the game. For a small period of time, I was worried that this game was going to spark the "Is RG3 back?!" conversation amongst the great pontificators in the media. However, the play that made me think he was back (that touchdown run at the end of the first half) was ruled to be not a touchdown, it was all downhill for the Redskins. RG3 took a beating from the Giants' defense. With every ensuing possession, Griffin looked more and more like Tiny Tim if his crutch kept of getting kicked out from underneath him.


Buy This Guy A Beer: The only reason that RG3's touchdown was overturned, and the Giants got back all the momentum was Jason Pierre-Paul. He ran as fast as the Polar Express to the quarterback when he was running towards the endzone, and right before Griffin crossed the plane, JPP hit his arm and knocked the ball loose. The ball was never officially recovered, and it was ruled to not be a touchdown. Which then lead to Santana Moss saying things to the officials that got him tossed from the game, and more importantly, landed him on the naughty list.

Hope you like coal, Santana.

Onto The Next One: The Giants travel west to St. Louis to face a Rams' defense as stingy as Ebenezer Scrooge. The Rams disguise their pass rushes really well. They do it even better then the Eagles. I know you remember what happened there. Hopefully the offensive line, which is softer than Santa's beard, is up to the task. If not, Eli is gonna get beaten up like Scut Farkus (I double checked. It's Scut not Scott).

Let's face it, Eli definitely has that coon skin hat at home. There's no way he doesn't.

I really don't think the Giants are up to the task here. Schwarzenegger had a better chance of finding a Turbo Man doll, than the Giants have of leaving St. Louis with a win. 

So What Have I Learned?

There's always one player on the Redskins' secondary that isn't good enough to hang with good receivers and has to commit penalties when they get beat. On this team it's Bashaud Breeland. 

Rueben Randle will not be a Giant next year.

Thank God there's a team in the NFC East that the Giants can beat.