Week Four 2014: Giants at Redskins

This past Thursday, the Giants completely spanked the Redskins. The name Redskins finally seems  appropriate because their asses are red from the spanking they got from the Eli and company. It was a game that needed to be won to get into the early hunt for NFC East supremacy, and the Giants won it... big time.

He's about as graceful as a drunk rhino

The offense was an efficient destroying machine. It was basically SkyNet with blue helmets, and it all started at quarterback. Eli was the text book definition of "in the zone." He completed seventy two percent of his passes for three hundred yards and four touchdowns. The fleet-footed gazelle of a quarterback even ran one in. As Eli told Deion Sanders after the game, “You can’t coach speed.”

The offensive line did another fantastic job with both run and pass blocking. Even though Eli got rid of the ball a lot faster than anyone’s accustomed to, the big guys up front created a nice pocket for him. They also formed running lanes for Rashad Jennings, Andre Williams, and Peyton Hillis. Yes, there was a Peyton Hillis sighting.

Speaking of the running game, the triple threat (which is actually one frontman, Jennings, with Williams and Hillis backing him up) played well against Washington. Their run defense has been stingy lately, but the Giants were up to the task of running all over them. They put the most rushing yards on Washington with one hundred and fifty-four rushing yards.
Because of Jennings’ three thousand carries against the Texans only a few days earlier, Andre Williams got a heavier workload then he’s used to. However, he did not disappoint. He wasn’t the second coming of Walter Payton by any stretch, but the warrior poet proves that he can be a serviceable back if need be.

The receivers and tight ends were even more in synch with Eli. The biggest pass catching contributor was Larry Donnell. The ramblin’ man from Gramblin’ caught three touchdown passes, and he seemed to be a tremendous target on third downs. His big six foot six frame, along with his jumping ability, makes it almost impossible for Eli to overthrow him.
Cruz had a drop on his first pass attempt, which instantly gave the Giants’ fans that worrisome feeling when you fart and maybe got more than you bargained for. But he got it together and had a great game.
There were very few mistakes made. There were a few drops. One notable drop would have been a guaranteed touchdown for Jennings. There was also a strange play where Reuben Randle caught the ball, landed in the endzone, then got the ball knocked out of his hands, which was caught by Washington’s Keenan Robinson. This play was somehow ruled an interception. I still don’t know if I quite understand it. I didn’t think you needed a “football move” if you land in the endzone with the ball. I don’t think I’ll understand it. Like how ignorant white guys who call into Mike Francesa’s sports show and say, “Ya know Mike, not for nothin’, but I wouldn’t be offended if the Redskins were named ‘The Crackers.’” will never understand that it’s not the same thing, and that’s not a valid argument in the whole Redskins name change debate.

"Dom from the car, what's on your mind?"

But thankfully, that mind boggling call didn’t make a huge difference because Cousins threw an interception a few plays after that Eli/Randle interception. In fact, that was only one of four interceptions thrown by Cousins. The defense was on point on Thursday. They were flying all over the field, having fun, and making plays. There were a few times where it looked like the Redskins were building momentum, but the Giants defense literally ripped it out of their hands.
The d-line was able to generate a good amount of pressure on the quarterback. They only sacked Cousins twice, but the sack by Kiwi caused a fumble. That led to the Giants first score of the night.

Although he looks the part, he's NOT Bigfoot.

Aside from a few blown coverages on running backs, the linebackers played well. They were able to contain Washington’s running game, and didn’t allow them to reach one hundred yards. Also, McClain was instrumental in the Logan Paulson fumble just before halftime. McClain held Paulson in his place while Trumane McBride ripped the ball away like he was waxing Bigfoot. That fumble saved the Giants from letting up a scoring drive before halftime.
The secondary was all kinds of nasty against the ‘Skins. They were able to read Cousins’ eyes and make plays all night. I’m not only talking about the interceptions. DRC and the Fresh Prince kept DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon in check the entire night.

Buy This Guy a Beer: I’m not gonna lie, this a tough call. It could easily be a few players. But I’m gonna go ahead and buy Eli Manning that beer, or shirley temple, whatever he drinks. He has absolutely taken over this offense and made it his own. This became very clear during this win over Washington. During a lot of games he looks like a kid who dropped his ice cream cone. But that night, he was all smiles. He looked confident, he looked comfortable, and he looked like a winner.

He still looks like a goofball, a victorious goofball.

Now, I have to keep my excitement in check. This is the NFL after all.
It’s true that two games leading up to Thursday night’s showdown the Redskins' offense was absolutely on fire. They had big games against Jacksonville and Philly. But those defenses are about as effective as Kris Jenner homeschooling.
Even though the Giants tore apart the Redskins like Magneto fighting an army of tin men, you still have to remember this is a week to week league, and anything can happen.

On to the Next One:
Atlanta is coming into town. The Flacons are a team of ups and downs. But what’s good for the Giants, is that the downs are outdoor away games. This is a huge test for the Giants’ defense. Let’s see how they handle Julio Jones and that passing attack. Once again DRC and the Fresh Prince will have their hands full.
Offensively, they just have to outscore Atlanta. The Falcons’ defense isn’t very good, and judging by what the Giants have put on the scoreboard the past couple of weeks, it shouldn’t be difficult. Let’s see how this offense will look now, if Odell Beckham Jr finally plays on Sunday. You remember him. No? The Giants’ first round pick? Number thirteen overall? Missed every preseason game and most practices because of a hamstring injury? Anyway, it looks as though he’s gonna play. Let’s see how much action he sees.
But they can’t let up. Coughlin is still telling his team to “keep improving”. They cannot be satisfied with where they are as a team just yet. The masses are starting to get sweet on the Giants, and it also concerns me when that happens. They are much better as underdogs.

So what have I learned?

It’s not only the offense that’s clicking. The defense is firing on all cylinders and is playing like one unit. They encourage each other and motivate each other. That chemistry is really showing on the field.

Larry Donnell is a man. This quarterback turned tight end has been a reliable target for Eli and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

The emergence of Odell Beckham Jr should have a big impact on the Giants offense. This will open up the downfield passing game. You will see Eli air it out to Beckham once he gets used to playing in the offense at game speed. The good news is that even though he hasn't been playing, he's always there. He's in the locker room, he's in the meetings, he's in the walkthroughs. He's basically the team manager that's fulfilling a lifelong dream to actually play for the team.

With the way this team is playing now, they have the ability to go toe to toe with any team. They just have to stay the course and stay focused. And with Coughlin at the helm, that won’t be a problem.

Week Three 2014: Giants vs Texans

The Giants set out on Sunday to get a win to end this early season slide before it gets out of hand. That’s exactly what they did when they defeated the Houston Texans quite handedly. I know it was only the third game of the season, but this was a big win for Big Blue.

It didn’t start off particularly well for the Giants. In fact, it was downright horrible. The first play that made me nervous was when tight end, Larry Donnell, got tackled at the Texans five yard line and the ball popped out of his arms like a greased watermelon. Of course this happened when the Giants offense looked like it was finally clicking.

At first I was like...

The other time that made me completely freak out was after a sixty-one yard Eli/Cruz hook up. The Giants had to settle for a field goal. Usually I wouldn’t care, but on this particular field goal attempt, things went awry. The Giants long snapper and longtime team captain, Zak DeOssie, botched the snap to Weatherford. Ultimately, the kick wasn’t even attempted. This is when I almost lost my damn mind.

Then I was like...

Despite the woes on offense, the Giants didn’t get discouraged. They settled down, made plays, and started to score. I haven’t seen the offense clicking that well since their latest Super Bowl run. Don’t worry, I’m not making any connections between the two, just yet.

With plays being made on all sides of the ball, the Giants walked away with a win, and a good deal of momentum heading forward. And Giant fans can breathe a sigh of relief that the team isn’t a complete failure.

Finally, I was like...

Apparently, the Giants made some changes this past week. Coach Coughlin decided to take a more relaxed approach to the weeks preparation. He allowed players to play rap music at practice, and he ended their last practice with a punt-catching competition... between the offensive and defensive linemen. Instead of getting on his guys about the mistakes they made and how to avoid mental mistakes, he kept their minds at ease.
Do you remember in D2: The Mighty Ducks, when Gordon Bombay lost sight of what was important? He put too much pressure on his team, and they didn’t play their best. He eventually realized that all of the grueling practices and the yelling weren’t the ways to get the best results. Coach Coughlin isn’t as bad as “Captain Blood”, but he realized that the best course was for the team to just go out there and play the game that they love.

Eli Manning completed seventy-five percent of his passes against the Texans. He was accurate, he made good decisions, he didn’t try to force anything, and he got rid of the ball in a hurry. Basically, he was the bizarro Eli. Maybe it was all the rap music he listened to during the practices that helped him find a rhythm with his receivers, or maybe it was just the offense finally clicking. Whatever it was, it was great to see and I hope it’s here to stay.
Before the game started I was concerned with how much J.J. Watt was going to dominate the offensive line and be an absolute nightmare for the offense. But the offensive line kept Watt out of the game. They gave Eli a lot of time in the pocket, and they made holes for the running game. They answered the call.

The receivers did a great job too. There weren’t as many drops this time around. This was especially true for Victor Cruz. People were yelling “CRUUUUUUUUZ!” instead of “BOOOOO!” this time around. He had a huge sixty-one yard reception and a twenty six yard touchdown catch. Preston Parker had a big drop on a third down, but later in the game he was a reliable target for Eli. Also, tight end Daniel Fells made an incredible catch that pretty much solidified the win.

(Here’s a new installment for the blog. It’s called “Buy This Guy a Beer”. Basically, it’s the drinkers equivalent to the game ball. It recognizes a player who went above and beyond to propel their team to victory. I’m only going to do it after wins, so let’s hope I give out a lot of these.)
Buy This Guy a Beer: Rashad Jennings
The running game was a huge reason why the offense was effective. Jennings averaged five yards per carry, ran for a career best one hundred and seventy-six yards, and scored one touchdown. He went bananas on the Texans.
But it wasn’t just his rushing numbers that made an impact. His rushing game was paramount in making J.J. Watt nearly obsolete in this game. He was basically the kryptonite for Watt. It made the offensive linemen’s jobs easier, which made Eli’s job easier.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

The defense came out swinging today. Ryan Fitzpatrick, the Gandalf of quarterbacks, came into Metlife Stadium with an average QB rating of almost one hundred and twenty. He left Metlife Stadium with a rating of fifty-eight. The defense played like maniacs against Houston. They went after that ball like hysterical teenage girls running after The Beatles. Rolle, DRC, and the Fresh Prince all had interceptions. Those were the only picks Fitzy has thrown this season. Despite his lack of success in the air, he was able to run quite a bit against the Giants.
Alfred Blue put up seventy-eight yards against the Giants. This included a forty-nine yard run in the third quarter. Obviously, Blue isn’t at the same level as Arian Foster, but it’s still encouraging.

Aside from the bad DeOssie snap, the special teams played well. The return game was smarter, all of Weatherford’s punts were inside the twenty yard line, and Damontre Moore blocked a punt. I have a feeling this won’t be the last blocked punt for Moore this season. He’s become a great asset in special teams.

This was a huge win, but this game was far from perfect. There are still plenty of things to improve on. Those two big blunders in the beginning of the game could become very costly against top tier opponents. But all in all, this was a very encouraging game. The team didn’t fold when they were knee deep in mistakes. They showed grit, and the persevered.

On to the Next One:
 For only being the four game of the season, the Giants play a game that could have a tremendous impact on the season. This Thursday, they go down to Washington D.C. to face the Redskins. The ‘Skins have a great offense, but a pedestrian defense. I’m not too concerned with how productive the Giants offense can be. I am curious to see if the G-Men’s defense can stifle the potent offense.

"Yes, Steve. You DID do that!"

The key to win is to get pressure on Kirk Cousins. He hasn’t been up against a decent pass rush yet this year. Let’s see how this former Spartan will handle it. Also, they have to contain DeSean Jackson. Right now he’s questionable, and I’d really prefer if he didn’t play. He has been a thorn in the Giants’ side, the Urkel to the Giants’ Carl Winslow, for years. If he plays, the speedy safety, Quintin Demps, will be in the secondary trying to keep Jackson in check.
If they can limit their mistakes, I like the Giants' chances to win this game and get back up to even on the season.

So what have I learned?

If this week was any indication, the Giants new offense can be deadly. The offense seems to be fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. Piece by piece, the Giants are building a powerful offense.

It looks like JP2 is back to his original form. Despite getting hurt once every game, he seems to be healthy. And a healthy JP2 is a dangerous JP2.

Coach Coughlin knows his team well. The fact that he knew how to react to prevent the team from having a full on meltdown is a testament to how much he knows and how much the players trust him.

According to Eli, they were playing a lot of 90’s rap to get their collective mind right. The idea of Eli listening to Wu-Tang Clan while warming up is hilarious to me, and I hope it never stops.

"Hi. I'm Eli Manning and here are my new friends. Method Man, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, the RZA, Masta Killah, and Inspectah Deck."

Week Two 2014: Giants vs Cardinals

Week two is in the books. Somewhere in the middle of the carnage that is the NFL soap opera, the Giants got dealt their second loss. Even though last week's loss was a complete disaster, this one hurt a little bit more. It hurt more because the game was in the hands of Big Blue, but turnovers and mental mistakes lead to the game slipping through their fingers. I can’t say that I’m surprised that they lost, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they won either, kind of like Leonardo DiCaprio being nominated for an Academy Award.

This will be Leo when he finally wins his Oscar, and this will be me when the Giants finally win a game.

Now, I hate the adage, “We beat ourselves.” Even if you made mistakes that cause you to lose, the opponent deserves the credit for capitalizing on those mistakes. Having said that, the Giants really did beat themselves. Their first win was in their sights, but because of fumbles, interceptions, and poor punt coverage, the Cardinals won. That’s the only reason that the Cards won;  it had nothing to do with their ability as a professional football team.

I also hate the adage, “The refs cost them the game.” Refs make horrible calls all the time. Both sides experienced the wrath of the flag happy gang. But a good team rises above the calls and makes plays. Having said all that, the refs cost the Giants the game. There were some calls that were just terrible. Soft “illegal contact” calls, a malarkey roughing the passer call on the first possession, and some non-calls all lead to the loss of the Giants.

I’m kidding, of course. The Giants made mistakes when the Cardinals didn’t, and they both had to deal with bad calls.

The game was going well for the most part. The Cards jumped out to an early lead, but by the end of the third quarter, the Giants led fourteen to ten with the help of two Manning touchdown passes. But then in the fourth quarter, all hell broke loose.

The game started breaking down faster than the public’s perception of morality in the NFL. The game turned on its head in back to back plays. The first play was a forty-five yard punt from Weatherford that was fielded by Ted Ginn Jr., who apparently the Giants are afraid to tackle. With relative ease, Ginn housed that punt, and the momentum started to swing in the Cardinals favor.
But the final blow, the Bane backbreaker, was on the following kickoff to the Giants. Quintin Demps caught the kick halfway into the Giants’ endzone. Instead of kneeling the ball for a touchback, he decided to roll the dice and take the ball out of the endzone.

"For the last time, Papa, I'm not gonna hang out with you!"

In football, the difference between a stupid play and a gutsy play is thinner than the veil of friendship between Peyton Manning and Papa John. It’s all about the result. If Demps got a touchdown on the play, or at least took the ball into Cardinals’ territory, it would have been gutsy. But Demps didn’t score, he didn’t have a big return. He fumbled. It was a stupid play. Throw in a fumble by Rashard Jennings that killed what looked to be a scoring, and possibly tying, drive, and you have a recipe for their second loss of the season.

For as painful as this game was, the Giants didn’t play that bad of a game. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things that the G-Men need to fix quickly. But there were some positives to take away from this game too.

First of all, Eli played well for the most part. He had one terrible throw off of a defensive lineman’s shoulder pad which was picked off. But it wouldn’t be a Giants’ game without some Eli face. His second interception I’ll just chalk up to a last minute chuck downfield that found its way to a defender. His completion percentage was sixty-six. Sadly, for Eli, that’s stellar. He had time to throw, and, for the most part, his receivers seemed to be on the same page as him.

The defense played well. They only gave up one touchdown and there were a few questionable calls that kept that scoring drive alive. True, they were up against Drew Stanton, but still.

But the Giants’ biggest foe wasn’t a second string quarterback from Michigan State, it was mistakes at inopportune times. From Cruz dropping big passes after demanding the ball to Demps taking the kickoff out of his own endzone, these are mistakes that had an impact on the game. However, these can be corrected, and you can be sure that red-assed Tom Coughlin will make sure these get corrected.

"I'll just go home to my cats. Mr. Snuggle Tail loves me for me."

On to the next one: This week the Giants host the Houston Texans. This means J.J. Watt will be up against that sub-par offensive line. I’m scared about that match up. Like a contestant on The Bachelor scared about dying alone level of scared. But, if Pugh can get some help from the tight ends, running backs, and other lineman, and if Eli can work in the opposite side of the pocket, maybe they can avoid a J.J. Watt rampage.
Offensively, the Texans are strongest in the rushing attack. This is beneficial for the Giants, considering they are solid at run defense. The loss of Jon Beason is a big cause for concern though.
Like I said about Leo being nominated for an Oscar, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Giants won, but it wouldn’t be a shocker if they lost, either.

So what have I learned?

It’s nice to see the Special Teams coach, Tom Quinn, still doing a bang-up job with punt coverage. You’d think after last year he would have been thrown out with the rest of last year’s garbage, but he’s still around somehow.

Most fans would be excited to play a backup quarterback. However, this always seems to be a crux for the Giants. For whatever reason, it seems that Big Blue’s defense seems to struggle against backup quarterbacks.

I really hope Jon Beason can get back to a high level quickly. The defense is very different without him lining up behind the front four.

In recent years, the Giants success has been directly linked to their quarterback. If Eli continues to play like this, and ideally get better, the rest of the missing pieces could fall into place and lead to some success.

Week One 2014: Giants at Lions

The Giants on Monday Night Football picked-up right where they left off this preseason. I don’t mean going undefeated, I mean playing like absolute crap. Safe to say that this game against the Lions was a complete disaster. Wait, we might be better off saying that it was a nightmare. Like being trapped in an elevator only to be accompanied by Guy Fieri who’s real jacked-up about a new extreme hamburger he concocted.

"This burger is INTENSE, dude! Double bacon burger, smothered in a peach cobbler and hot sauce! I call it HOTLANTA!"

I don’t even know where to begin, to be honest with you. I mean, where do critics start when they review a Tyler Perry movie? I guess I’ll start with the defense given that it wasn’t as bad as the offense.

Shouldn't have messed with that sun, bro.

I know Calvin Johnson treated the Giants like great white sharks treat seals, but his two touchdowns, and a bulk of his one hundred and sixty-four yards, came before Big Blue’s defense got into a rhythm. Giants' corner back Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie said he was going to shadow Johnson for the entire game. DRC, with a little too much hubris, flew a little too close to the sun. Yes, I just referenced Icarus;  read a book. Also, on both of his touchdowns, Matthew Stafford did an amazing job avoiding pressure and made the play happen.

The Giants pass rush showed some promised a few times during the game. Even though Stafford was only sacked once, by Rolle, who isn’t even in the front seven, he was under pressure a couple of times. But Stafford, who’s primed to have a great year, wasn’t phased by the pass rush and still lit up the G-Men like one of Josh Gordon’s favorite blunts.

The run defense was solid with only giving up seventy-eight yards on the ground. Holding that rushing attack to under one hundred yards is no easy feat. Neither Bush nor Bell scored a rushing touchdown. So there’s one thing that they can hang their helmets on.

Now onto the offense. This horrible, horrible offense.

I’m trying to think of the right comparison with how poorly the Giants offense played on Monday. Honestly, a straight-to-video sequel to Gigli would probably be better than the Giants’ offense. The offensive line, which has basically become a turnstile with shoulder pads, didn’t give Eli the time he needed to make plays. This includes plays that only take a few seconds to develop. The line is especially bad with the two tackles, Will Beatty and Justin Pugh, who couldn’t establish the pocket. To be a little fair to the Giants offensive line, the Lions front seven might be one of the best in the league. So a dominant front seven rushing against an offensive line held together by duct tape, popsicle sticks, and rubber bands will surely give any quarterback fits.

I don’t want anyone to think Eli is off the hook, because he definitely shares the blame in this. With the offensive line as shaky as it is, when Eli has an opportunity to throw the ball, he cannot afford to throw the ball a little high, or throw it behind the receiver. He’s gotta be dead red on his target. That’s a tall order for this bumpkin, he’s about as accurate as a two dollar pregnancy test.

His receivers need work too. Even his most reliable target, Victor Cruz, dropped balls in big spots and is growing frustrated. “Wrong Page” Rueben Randle was invisible, Jerrel Jernigan is still raw, Corey Washington only saw goal line snaps, and their undrafted tight end, Larry Donnell, missed an audible a the line of scrimmage which led to Eli’s first pick. It was gutsy when the Giants threw three out of four times in their goal line offense, but I like that! I like that! It ended up paying off with a fade pass that to Donnell that resulted in a touchdown.

The running game wasn’t all that effective, but you could probably chalk that up to the bad match up.

Steve Weatherford, most likely the best player on the Giants, hobbled his ankle a bit when he got hit during a punt. He hopes to play next week against the Cardinals, so does every other Giants’ fan.

Overall, the Giants played a bad game against a playoff caliber team. It started off terribly, it evened out a bit halfway through the game (thanks to some stupid penalties by the Lions), but ultimately the turnovers drained every last ounce of momentum that the Giants had and the Lions ran away with the victory.

On to the next one:
The Giants have a tough matchup this coming Sunday against the Arizona Cardinals. The Cardinals defense will be tough to overcome for the Giants’ offense. Oddly enough, I’d expect Larry Donnell to have a solid game, and for him to get another touchdown.
The key defensively is to pressure Carson Palmer and force him to make mistakes.

So what have I learned?

I know it’s week one, but I am concerned with the Giants. How concerned am I? Well, on a scale from one to ten, one being relaxing on a beach without a care in the world, and ten being the PR staff for the NFL, I’m at a seven and a half. But it’s only week one. Big Blue can turn it around, but it needs to be done quickly, and it won’t be easy.

If you don't turn this team around, it's open season on him, and you...