Week Eight 2015: Giants at Saints

The Giants lost a heart breaker in the Big Easy this past Sunday. The game was crazy.  In fact, it was too crazy, like Nicolas Cage in Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans crazy. In B.L.:P.O.C.N.O., for short, Cage plays a corrupt police Lieutenant who loves crack. He even has a lucky crack pipe.
It’s hard to lose games when you put forty-nine points on the board, but it’s nearly impossible to win a game when you give up fifty-two points.

Believe it or not, Cage depriving an elderly woman of oxygen while holding a gun to her caretaker's head isn't the craziest part of the movie.

Against the Cowboys, the Giants’ offense played terribly, and the game was won on the shoulders of special teams and the defense. Against the Saints, the defense was a certified dumpster fire, and the offense had to pick up the slack. Imagine if all three phases played well at the same time.



About Last Night

It’s pretty easy to point out what went right and what went wrong in New Orleans. Let’s just dive right into it. No gimmicks. 

What Went Right

The offense. Well, the pass offense. Eli Manning’s six touchdown performance was the best of his career, especially when you factor in that he threw no interceptions. I’m not gonna say this was the best game of his career, but it definitely belongs on a short list.
Unfortunately, for as great as he played, he didn't get the win. Just like eating at a Guy Fieri restaurant, it was very exciting at the time, but you're left with an awful taste in your mouth and a pain in your stomach.

"Try The Big Easy Po' Boy! It's a shrimp po' boy with kickin' Cajun sauce, bacon, avocado, vanilla frosting, shreds of fuzzy dice, and finally, it's sprayed down with Axe Body Spray for extra flavor! It's Mardi Gras in your mouth hole!"

What Went Wrong

The Saints’ offense could do anything against the Giants’ defense. I’d say it was like taking candy from a baby, but that analogy might not be accurate enough. Like taking candy from a sleeping baby? Is that better? Like beating a goldfish in a spelling contest?

Here’s a short list of things that are/were less of a disaster than the Giants’ defense:

-George Lucas being in control of everything while making the Star Wars prequels

-George Lucas being allowed to make the Special Editions for the original trilogy

-Nicolas Cage’s financial team

-Wesley Snipes’ financial team

-Prime Minister Chamberlain’s appeasement policy for Adolf Hitler

-Mayor Vaughn’s idea to keep the beaches open 4th of July weekend in Amity

Say what you will about Mayor Vaughn's character, but I'll be damned if that isn't the best blazer ever.

-The D-5 PeeWee hockey team before Gordon Bombay took over as coach

-EPA Agent Walter Peck shutting down the Ghostbusters’ containment unit

The Giants failed again at closing a game. The fact that they got the ball back with thirty-six seconds left to get the ball into field goal range, and ended up losing in regulation was a punch to the gut. I’d much rather see them lose the game in overtime.

I put Jerry Reese at the focal point of this loss. It was hard for the defense to play well when Prince Amukamara and Jon Beason were out because of injury, but main problem here is these guys are rarely healthy. Prince only has one full season under his belt, and Beason is pretty much getting paid to sit on the sidelines. 
You would think Jerry Reese would’ve sat back in the off-season and said to himself, “Since Prince and Beason are always hurt, we should get reliable backups so were not in deep trouble when (not 'if') they go down.”
It is because of this lack of preparedness that lead to Trevin Wade being picked on like a mathlete. 
When two defensive players go down, it shouldn’t result in the entire defense collapsing like a house of cards. 



On To The Next One

Coming up this Sunday, the Giants travel to Tampa Bay to face the Buccaneers.

This is a winnable game for the Giants, but the Bucs are better than expected. A lot of this game hinges on the Giants winning the turnover battle, but it’s not everything. Hell, they did that last week and still got the loss.

Behold... the power glove!

An aggressive pass rush might cause Captain Crab Legs to make some bad throws. This might be a problem considering the Giants pass rush can’t pressure any quarterback. BUT something might be different. This game might be the return of JPP. He might put on his pads, tighten his chinstrap, fasten that weird penguin glove, and get to work. I never thought Jason Penguin-Paul would be considered the avenger of this defense, but at this point, he’s Captain America.



A win against the Saints would've given the Giants five wins and three losses. At that point you’d be looking at the Giants alone in the NFC East drivers seat, looking forward to a winnable game and JPP coming back. It would’ve been looking good for Big Blue. Instead, they blew it and are still in the muck of this under achieving division. I'll be curious to see what happens when the Eagles and Cowboys face each other this week. Whoever loses that game will be the team that Giants probably won’t have to worry about for the rest of the season.