Week 3: Giants at Panthers

Domination: noun

1: supremacy or preeminence over another

2: exercise of mastery or ruling power

This definition from Webster's Dictionary seems to be the most accurate that could be used for this past Thursday night's game against the Panthers. This is only because the other term I was thinking of was defined as follows: "a bag usually of filter paper holding enough tea for an individual serving."  No matter what you call it, it was a beat down for the ages. 

"A whole cheese pizza just for me!"

Eli Manning didn't throw for over five hundred yards this game, but he played a very efficient game, completing seventy-seven percent (27/35) of his passes while  throwing for two hundred eighty eight yards and one touchdown. It helped that the offensive line gave him all day to make good throws, the running game was effective, and the receivers stepped up (I'll get to all of that soon). 

He also displayed some off-the-field heroics, giving a rousing speech to the team before the game. I wasn't in that room during the speech, but I bet it sounded something like this, "Hey guys, I believe in you all. We have a good gosh-darn team here and it'll be a cold day in heck before I give up on you guys. So let's get out there and give it our best shot. And after the game, win-or-lose, my Pa is gonna take us all to Pizza Hut!" Again I wasn't there for it, but judging by the results of that game, it must of been one heck of a speech. 

The offensive line did a great job protecting Eli by only giving up two sacks. It's not like the Panthers are known for their aggressive and over-powering pass rush, but the Giants' line was missing David Diehl. Will Beatty and Sean Locklear stepped into their new rolls and helped protect Eli. 

After Hakeem Nicks' outstanding, but physically taxing, performance against the Buccaneers, he had to take Thursday's game off in order to recuperate. It was no surprise that Cruz was going to be double-teamed the entire game, and that left Ramses Barden and Martellus Bennett available to do some damage. The 6'6" Barden from Cal-Poly was very tough to defend and seemed to always be open, mostly because the Panthers secondary wasn't on stilts.

Martellus Bennett is continuing to win me over. The Black Unicorn is proving to be an effective weapon in the Giants' offense. That isn't new for Eli, though. It seems that every tight end that plays for him breaks out from nowhere. He made stars out of guys like Boss and Ballard, it's no surprise that a player as skilled as Bennett has become an impact player. 

What can I say about Andre Brown? He was released by seven different teams, including the Giants, and when he finally got a chance to showcase his abilities on the field, he made all of those teams seem stupid. Andre Brown a.k.a. Browntown Express ran for one hundred and thirteen yards and two touchdowns, and he did it in traditional Giants' hard-nosed fashion. If you don't believe me, you can ask Panthers safety Haruki Nakamura, who got repeatedly got "truck sticked" by Brown. Even with his bruising running style and speed bursts, one of the most impressive things about Browntown Express is his patience. He hangs out behind his linemen and waits for a hole to open up and the the Express gets a full head of steam. This running style also works out for an aging offensive line, who can focus on making holes where they are and not have to worry about moving around too much. 

Next stop on the Browntown Express, Nakamura Station.

Cam Newton thinks of himself as Superman. He showed this by doing his "Man of Steel" move after scoring a touchdown, while being down by twenty six points. That'll show 'em. But if Newton thinks he's Superman, that means that the Haitian of Domination is Doomsday (he killed Superman, look it up). Newton has relied on being the biggest physical freak on the field, but he certainly met his match in JP2.

"If I was a Carolina Panthers' fan, I'd walk around like this."

The Giants' pass rush finally woke up and was a nightmare for the Panthers' backfield. The option plays weren't all that effective, which then made the Panthers passing game ineffective.
Evidence of this was Cam's six rushing yards and three interceptions.

So what have I learned?

I learned that when the Giants are firing on all cylinders they can be a nightmare for their opponents. The team on all sides of the ball is starting to come together. They showed that they cannot be counted out in the division. The momentum from the second half of the Bucs game carried over against the Panthers, and hopefully they can continue to ride that wave through Philadelphia.

The Browntown Express and Ahmad Bradshaw will be a very effective running tandem when Bradshaw gets healthy. This will give David Wilson time to soak up the pro game and hopefully make him more comfortable when he gets his carries.

The pass rush is showing signs of it being the disruptive force that we all fell in love with last season. The secondary looks to be coming into its own also.

I know this game was against a team that didn't put forward their best effort, but the Giants did what every Superbowl Championship team should do... dominate a lesser opponent. 

Week Two: Giants vs Buccaneers

"It was the best of plays, it was the worst of plays, it was the throws of wisdom, it was the throws of foolishness..."

This is a modified excerpt from Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. It has been modified to  express how differently the Giants played on Sunday. More specifically how Eli played. A Tale of Two Elis you might say.

Aww dangit! What the heck am I doing?

Some of those throws in the first half were reminiscent of his early years with the Giants. You know the kind, the "What the hell are you thinking?" throws followed by the classic "Eli face". All three of his interceptions led to touchdowns. But he wasn't the only one that was lackluster in the first half.

After driving down field to put themselves in a first-and-goal situation, Manning doesn't see an open Bradshaw, but instead throws to the offensive lineman Will Beatty, who dropped the ball. Later on during that same possession, Martellus Bennett had a big drop in the end zone on third down. I know that he did make a great catch (spoiler alert) to win the game, but he has horrible hands. The nickname "Black Unicorn" that he gave to himself actually makes a lot of sense now. Do you have any idea how hard it must be to catch a football with hooves for hands?

"I don't have thumbs."

The defense, for the most part, played well. Out of the four touchdowns the Buccaneers scored, the only one that wasn't given up on a short field after a turnover was the last touchdown in the fourth quarter. Webster still looked silly on a few plays, and the Giants only had two sacks on Josh Freeman. Of course, the Haitian of Domination had one of those sacks.

I don't know what happened during halftime of that Giants game. I don't know if anyone made a rousing speech ala Jonathan Moxon, or if Coughlin gave them all a super drink that's actually water ala Space Jam. Whatever was done or said, it worked out for Giants as they scored twenty-five points in the fourth quarter alone.

Things started to fall into place by running the ball and completing short passes. Then, with over seven minutes left, Eli shows his guts and on third-and-two launches the ball downfield to Victor Cruz for an eighty yard touchdown (followed by a salsa). Eli has more way more Guts than any of those snot-nosed punks that scaled the Aggro Crag.

Nice job, Danny from Tampa. How many rings do you have again? That's what I thought. Get off the stage.

The Giants offense never looked back after that, scoring on the three following possessions, the last being the go-ahead score by the Black Unicorn. Looks like his hooves have turned into hands just in time.

"Of course I wasn't sleeping! I always look like I just sharted."

I guess I can't talk about the Giants/Bucs game without mentioning the ball kneeling incident, right? I know this topic has been beaten to death so much that people probably turn into Mike Francesa when they hear a debate about it on the radio. By Mike Francesa I mean the sleeping one, not the Mets rant one.
Okay, I understand that Coach Greg Schiano wants to instill a "never say die" attitude with his team, and maybe he wanted to send a message to the league that he means business, and maybe it worked against USF or Cincinnati, but diving low on the offense on a kneel down seems bush league to me.
It seemed like a move someone would pull in Madden when they were pissed about giving up twenty-four points in the fourth quarter and about to lose the game. Maybe Schiano would hit the restart button if he could. I wonder if he would still play to the whistle if he was down by fourteen points. I wonder if he would do that if he didn't give up a big lead in the fourth quarter. I wonder how he would feel about a team who's winning "playing to the whistle" and chucking the ball around on his team with five minutes left. Now maybe I'm biased, but if it happened to your team you'd be thinking the same way. Okay, I'm sorry, I really didn't have any intention of dragging that point out for so long.  Rant over.

So what have I learned?

Despite being overshadowed by the last five seconds of the game, it was an incredible win that showcased the Giants heart and determination. Despite playing badly for the first half, the Giants regrouped and didn't let their first half affect their second half. They finished strong. Maybe this has become the Giants' new team philosophy. It used to be gritty, smash-mouth football. Now it seems like a "play a mediocre game until the fourth quarter than unleash hell" philosophy (sometimes it doesn't work, though).

Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz overcame adversity this week and they both had an incredible game. Cruz even did a salsa dance in the end zone dedicated to his late grandmother. And Nicks had a game as big as his hands, being just one yard short of 200.

The defensive line needs to start getting to the quarterback more. At times, Josh Freeman had all day to make a pass and, with the secondary as thin as it is, that could be a lot of trouble.

Eli is the biggest, baddest, most unassuming monster in the league. His easy demeanor enables him to forget about his awful throws and toss a long-distance strike to his receivers. If Nicks has the biggest hands, Eli's got the biggest cojones. And now, he has a new "Eli Face".

Week One: Giants vs Cowboys

For the past eight years the defending Superbowl champions were 8-0 on their opening night "Superbowl Banner Game". The team that was celebrated in this year's game, the New York Giants, was the first team to win a Superbowl with a 9-7 record. It kinda makes sense that the same team is the first team to lose their banner game.

Where you at, grammar?!

How did this happen? I'm as perplexed as I was when I watched Keyshawn Johnson's and Chris Carter's segment "Where you at?!" on NFL Countdown. Honestly, I don't think I understood one sentence during that bit. Apparently you can hide from your friends, even your mom, but the bank always knows where you at...

...Anyway the two biggest issues with the team as a whole that I saw on Wednesday night was the running game and the passing defense.

If it wasn't for Bradshaw's thirty-three yard run we wouldn't have much to talk about for the running game. The offensive line couldn't create any running room for Bradshaw and David Wilson picked the worse time to catch fumbleitis. He only had two carries and he gives the ball up to the Cowboys. It is no coincidence that you didn't see him get any more carries after coughing up that ball.

"Does this hat make me look tough? No? Not even a little?"

I knew the Giants were going to have problems stopping the pass but I didn't expect Kevin Ogletree to have a career day against the them either. What is the most concerning is that the big passing plays for Dallas were due to mistakes by Corey Webster. I was hoping that the Giants pass rush would be enough to throw Tony Romo off of his game, but a tip of the backwards Starter cap to Romosexual. He played well and avoided the Giants pressure only getting sacked twice. Even the Haitian of Domination couldn't touch him.

It also doesn't help that DeMarco Murray ran wild on the Giants and that Victor Cruz dropped three crucial passes. Or that when the Giants started a possession at the goal line they could only get three points. It's stuff like that that adds up to a disappointing loss. Listen, it's not easy building a bridge if you don't have sufficient workers and tools.

"Look! It's Enrico Pallazzo!"

It's not I can blame the unofficial officials for a horrible job in calling this game (even though I hate that excuse if it was true). There was a defensive holding penalty on the Giants that could have been called but that could have happened with the regular officials. Also the Cowboys had over fifty more penalty yards than the Giants. There were times, however, when I expected to see Detective Frank Drebin disguised as an official like during that Angels/Mariners baseball game (look it up). Maybe he needed to prevent an assassination or a terrorist attack so he has to dress as the line judge or something. But there was no slap-stick on Wednesday night, just a Giants loss.

So what have I learned?

-I learned that the Giants secondary needs to get healthy now. The secondary is lacking more depth than last year and you see how it can be exploited if the Giants front four isn't effective. It's a good thing the secondary has ten days rest before their next game.

 -David Wilson needs to get more carries. Brashsaw cannot take all of these carries by himself. I understand that Coughlin benched him in order to send a message that fumble will not be tolerated. He has a habit on laying the ball on the ground so hopefully he can be taught how to keep the ball secure like Tiki Barber.

-Even though the Giants played bad football on Wednesday night, they still only lost by a touchdown to a talented Cowboys team. Not only that, but who knows what would have happened if they got the ball back one last time in the fourth quarter.

-The Giants will rebound and should win the next two contests against Tampa Bay and Carolina. They are angry about the loss and they are now out to prove themselves to everyone. 

2012 Predictions

In 2004 I had a gutsy but ridiculous prediction. "The Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl in 2006!" It was based on no facts, I couldn't begin to rationalize it, but I stuck to my guns about it. As you know now, I was so wrong. That 2006-2007 season the Lions finished 3-13.

"You will have the prettiest anus in the whole dog park!"

Now, after four games of half-played football the Giants are ready to begin defending their title on Wednesday against the Cowboys. And after those games I am ready to make some more gutsy and ill-informed for the 2012 season. I know that you probably care about my predictions like you care about Kim Kardashian's dog's bunghole getting bleached but here we go.

Prediction #1: Giants will have a 10-6 record. This will be good enough to sneak in the playoffs in a tough division. Six of these wins won't be decided in the 4th quarter.

Prediction #2: Jason Pierre-Paul will have twenty sacks this season. He had sixteen and a half sacks last year and he's only getting better. Think of Blanka from Street Fighter only with more electricity. This season he will earn the nickname of "Haitian of Domination".

"Haitian of Domination" is gonna stick. Farooq seems to like it.

Prediction #3: Adewale Ojomo will make a name for himself at DE this year. Even with playing with guys like Tuck, Osi and JPP.

Prediction #4: Mark Herzlich will become a major player in the Giants defense this year. You will see why he would have been a first round pick if he didn't get sick.

Prediction #5: The Giants pass defense will struggle again this year. Terrel Thomas is missing his second straight year, the second corner (Amukamara) has only played in seven games and our nickle back (Hosley) is a rookie. Rolle will step in if need be.

Prediction #6: The running game will improve but not by much. The run blocking hasn't really improved since last year and Bradshaw will still get hurt somehow. Maybe he'll kick a night table in the middle of the night or step on a Lego, but no matter how it happens he'll miss two or three games. This gives way for David Wilson's prediction...

Prediction #7: David Wilson will run for over six hundred yards and seven touchdowns. This will include at least eight rushes over twenty yards. In other words I think he'll put up better numbers than Jacobs did last year. However, Wilson won't make headlines like Jacobs. 

Prediction #8: Ramses Barden will finally emerge as a reliable target for Eli Manning. He has been getting a lot of looks this preseason and has taken advantage of those opportunities. Now I'm not saying he's gonna be the best WR on the Giants, but he could very well end up with seven touchdowns and five hundred yards receiving.

Prediction #9: Rueben Randle will make a significant impact this year as a rookie.

Prediction #10: The replacement officials will cost the Giants an important game. This is just how it goes with them. I think that will finally push Coughlin over the deep end and he'll try to strangle an unofficial official.

Prediction #11: The Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl in the 2014-2015 season. 

So what have I learned?

Nice prediction, dick.

I've learned that I haven't learned from my Detroit Lions mistake. I still make predictions that have very little information to back it up. Hopefully I did enough work this time to make some educated guesses, unlike in 2004 when I just banked on Joey Harrington actually being good.