NFL Kickoff

Well, all of the summer beer has been replaced by a million different Oktoberfest and Pumpkin beers, Halloween stores are popping up all over the place, and the days are getting shorter. This could only mean one thing... the football season is upon us. So grab your old and ratty, but somehow “lucky,” Jason Sehorn jersey because Giants’ football starts on Monday night. It’s time to see how this team is coming together. Will they die like dogs, or will they fight like lions?

Sehorn is on the left. Next to the animatronic Bruce Jenner.

Now, if you read my previous post, I talked about how I was optimistic about this upcoming season. I explained how it can sometimes be a fool’s errand because success is so hard to achieve in the NFL. And judging by how Big Blue looked this pre-season, it looks like I was a bit foolish to be as optimistic as I was.

Here’s a list of why I was stupid to be optimistic:

The Offensive Line: It really doesn’t matter what system is in place if the quarterback is running for his life whenever he drops back to pass, he won't be that effective. Especially when the quarterback’s running is equivalent to a drunk girl in heels trying to catch a taxi. I thought the line would have made a big step forward, but it seems like they just stood still.

I really hope I don't see this face too much this season.

Eli Manning: I know the offensive line is in trouble, but Eli hasn’t done himself any favors either. He was sacked five times, you could put some of the blame on the offensive line, but the fact that he lost fifty-seven yards on those sacks have to be blamed on the jelly-legged quarterback.
Sometimes he’s looked fine, other times he looked as sharp as a bean bag. It looks even worse when you look at how well his second year back-up, Ryan Nassib, played. Hell, the goofy bastard was even outplayed by Curtis Painter.

Rueben Randle: Ohh Rueben “Wrong Page,” you’re doing it again, aren’t you? Last year I thought the issue with Randle was his inability to understands Gilbride’s offense. I thought he would take to this new offense like Batman takes to vigilante justice, but instead he’s taking to this offense like Bruce Wayne takes to emotional stability. True, he did catch that one touchdown against the Jets, but he ran a few wrong routes at crucial times that have killed drives.

Odell Beckham Jr.: It’s almost impossible to find holes in Odell’s game. And that’s because he’s been more of a spectator than a participant since he’s been drafted. The hamstring pain for Odell has been a real pain in the ass for Tom Coughlin. We’ll have to see how long it’ll take for his hamstring to feel better. You can be damn sure they won’t force his recovery and risk another set back.

Here’s a list of why I was right to be optimistic:

Steve Weatherford: The pumped-up punter, Captain Leg Day, is having a terrific preseason. Out of his thirty-two punts, eleven landed inside the twenty yard line, and only one was a touchback. It’s good to know that if the offense stalls, which let’s face it, it’s likely to happen, the Giants have someone reliable to improve their field position.

The Running Game: Despite the issues with the offensive line, Rashad Jennings and Andre Williams have really been effective in their first years with the Giants. Thankfully, the running game can be used to give Eli more time in the pocket to make better decisions. Maybe this West Coast offense might have to turn into a ground and pound offense.

Cruz before CRUUUUUZZZ!

Corey Washington: This undrafted rookie wide receiver has set the world on fire this preseason. He was even named NFL.com’s “Preseason MVP”, so we might as well get him a gold jacket now. Washington, who is 6’4”, can become the tall receiver that Eli needs. My only issue is that Washington didn’t get first team looks this preseason. That leads me to believe that he won’t get much work this year. Who knows? Maybe McAdoo will fit Washington’s skill set into this under construction offense for some immediate help.
I know it’s kind of a stretch to think an undrafted rookie can just burst onto the scene and become an integral part of the offense, but it has been done before. See: Cruz, Victor.

Damontre Moore: Coming into his second season, Moore really needs to step up and be a cog in the Giants’ pass rushing machine. So far this preseason, he has been playing like one of those cogs racking up nine tackles and four sacks. Also, Michael Strahan has been helping to mold him during the offseason. If Strahan is the Yoda to Moore’s Luke, we could expect big things from this guy.

"Much to learn, you have. A huge gap in your teeth, you need."

The rest defense I’m not too sure about yet. Overall they looked okay this preseason. The G-Men’s defense really depends on three people; JPP, Jon Beason, and Stevie Brown. If the three of them play to their fullest ability, the D will be just fine. If not, it’s going to put even more pressure on this troublesome offense. And considering it’s harder to start this offense than an old lawnmower, they need the defense to play well.


So what have I learned?

If Jerry Reese had access to a time machine, I bet he’d definitely reconsider drafting Zack Martin over Odell Beckham Jr.. Especially since Beckham’s leg is the injury equivalent to the state of the offensive line.

The officiating really needs to get their act together. I know the penalty calling is so much softer in the preseason, but this is ridiculous. I’m hoping for this to change, because football really might become unwatchable.

It will probably take a few weeks for it to happen, but the offense will eventually click. There will be one game where all the pieces will fit together like a puzzle. I just hope that game comes early in the season. I mean, they can't start off 0-6 again. Can they?

Let’s face it. This is the NFL. Anything can happen. Could the Giants only win six games? Sure. Could they somehow make the playoffs and make a run? Sure. I mean they’ve done this whole thing before, right? Getting completely dismissed and then pulling a great season out of their asses.
In a league full of teams that are hard to peg, Big Blue is probably the most difficult to figure out. I wouldn’t be surprised if they die like dogs or fight like lions.

Training Camp

Look, the last thing I want to do is rush the summer away. Especially after living in the movie Frozen all winter long. But the Giants are back at the Timex Performance Center for Training Camp and I couldn’t be more excited for the season to begin. This might come as a shock considering how horrible the Giants were last year, but I am (somewhat naively) optimistic about the 2014 season.

He can't hit free throws, but he can kick your bean bag.

op-ti-mism: a feeling or belief that good things will happen in the future : a feeling or belief that what you hope for will happen.

That is the Merriam-Webster definition of optimism. By that definition, you would say it’s a positive thing. However, when it comes to pre-season NFL, optimism can be dangerous. Like a deep sea diving while tripping on shrooms kind of dangerous. When you believe with all your heart that your team can make noise in the playoffs and it doesn't work out, it can feel like like getting kicked in the nuts by Shaq while he's wearing size twenty-three, brick Reeboks.

I can only be as optimistic as history will allow me to be. As a football fan, believing a team will do well can be a bad idea considering how quickly and easily seasons can totally implode. Take, for example, Rex Ryan. His optimism paid off early in his tenure with the Jets. However, now he seems like a kid who thinks his way-too-hot ex-girlfriend will come back to him.

But why should I be so optimistic? I mean how could I be? Last season, the Giants were as useful as contraceptives in the Duggar household. From the quarterback to the return game, Big Blue had so many issues.

Would it kill you guys to put a goalie in the net?

There are a few reasons why I feel optimistic about the upcoming season.

1) The Giants offensive line, with the additions of Geoff Schwartz and rookie Weston Richburg, help plug some holes in the offensive line. If you don’t remember, much of the Giants’ problems stemmed from their inability to give Eli time in the pocket and to create holes for the running game. And at the goal line, the front five got as much push as Emmanuel Lewis moving a refrigerator.

2) The running game looks to be improved a bit with the addition of Rashard Jennings, the drafting of Andre Williams, and with David Wilson being cleared to play. This could be the reincarnated three-headed monster of the “Earth, Wind and Fire” days.

3) The defense added some players that hopefully won’t make them suck so hard this year. The additions of Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and Jameel McClain will help strengthen the defense, and rookie linebacker Devon Kennard is picking up the defense very quickly. JPP feels the best that he’s felt since 2012, and hopefully Jon Beason can return back to full form by the start of the season.

4) The Giants return game should finally be effective for the first time since the Matt Dodge era. With Quintin Demps, Trindon Holliday, David Wilson, and Odell Beckham Jr. as potential return men, the Giants will improve their field position, and maybe, just maybe, they can score on kick or punt returns, because they haven’t done that since 2009!

But the real reason behind my optimism is the new offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo. What he brings is a simpler offensive game plan. If Gilbride’s offense was the Hayden Planetarium, McAdoo’s offense is a bedroom ceiling covered with glow-in-the-dark star stickers. Now that doesn’t mean I’m saying McAdoo’s offense is only for idiots;  I’m saying that if everyone buys in, it’s idiot proof. This new west coast offense won’t contain all of those option routes that were problematic for the Giants last season. This offense will have mid-range, concise routes that you only have to learn. As a receiver you don’t have to worry about reading the safeties and running the right route. As a quarterback, you don’t have to assess what every receiver is going to do and hope they make the same choice as you.

So you're saying that if I don't throw as many picks, the offense will be better? Dang! That's brilliant!

McAdoo’s offense seemed to work pretty well with his former team, the Green Bay Packers. Now will the Giants’ offense be as prolific as the Packers’ offense? No. Will Eli play to the level of Aaron Rodgers? No way. But it’s safe to say there will be a considerable, maybe even vast, improvement.
A lot of mistakes were made in the passing game due to Eli and his receivers, especially Rueben Randle, not making the same reads on the receiving routes. This new offense should limit the amount of mistakes made in the passing game.

So I’m going to go out on the ledge and be optimistic for Eli Manning. And while I’m at it, I might as well take my grandmother to a Skrillex concert. I really do think he is going to be a much better quarterback this upcoming season. Having a new offense did wonders for Jay Culter and Phillip Rivers last year, and I think the nervous excitement that comes with learning a new offense is a terrific thing for the offense players that were so accustomed to Gilbride’s offense.

So what have I learned?

Coughlin is still the lovable red ass as he always is. During OTAs, Coach compared the new Giants’ offense to his grandkids playing soccer for the first time. He is also upset with first round pick Odell Beckham Jr, because he is sidelined with a hamstring injury.

The tight end situation for the Giants is a messy one to say the least. Among the five, yes five, tight ends fighting for a spot on the team, not one has answered the call to become a favorite. At least one of them has to step up and become a reliable target in the passing game. Eli loves reliable tight ends like the Kardashians love to not work.

Optimism can quickly turn into delusion if you don’t manage your expectations. It’s easy to buy into all of this positivity, and ignore all of the warning signs. Like how everyone was so concerned about David Wilson's injury that they forgot all about his severe case of fumblitis. However, optimism for an NFC East team are rarely delusionial, especially since the division is so competitive. In fact, the only thing you can be certain about is that the fight to win the East will look like something out of Braveheart.

Nobody gives a pre-game speech like William Wallace. Not even Ray Lewis.

Draft Aftermath

The podium has been removed from the stage. The football helmet phones have all been disconnected. Radio City is no longer filled with drunk and angry Jets’ fans. Mel Kiper has found his way back into the coffin until next February. Jon Gruden is looking for homes to buy in the Cleveland area so he can be closer to Johnny Manziel. The NFL Draft must be over.

"Ping Pong! Because when I'm not singing, I'm swinging!"

For the most part, I like what the Giants have done in this draft. However, I’m not going to give it a letter grade, it’s useless. It would be like reviewing a movie before it even begins filming. It’s impossible to accurately grade a team’s draft until at least two years after the draft has happened, otherwise you’re just grading someone’s opinion and the player’s highlight reel as absolute truth. You cannot judge a player by showing his “best of” mix tape. If you’d give me over fifty hours of Stevie Wonder playing ping pong, I can edit those hours to make him look like Forrest Gump for a two minute clip. But after having said all of that, I will discuss each of the draft picks and what Giants’ fans should expect from them.

Round 1: Odell Beckham Jr - WR - LSU - Odell Beckham Jr, or OBJ, was the 2013 recipient of the Paul Hornung Award, which is the award given to college’s most versatile player. He was also a team leader of the LSU Tigers. I thought that the Giants would have drafted an offensive or defensive lineman, but they instead went with a receiver that can be as explosive as a Michael Bay movie. Even though he won’t be blocking for Eli, his presence will definitely help Eli out.

Michael Bay: Because who needs a plot when you have explosions?

I already trust him more than any other Giants’ receiver (besides Cruz). How can I say that of a rookie receiver? Because Eli and Odell have history. He went to the same high school as the brother’s Manning, and he was the only 1,000 yard receiver at the school since, you guessed it, Cooper Manning. Also, OBJ worked at the Manning Passing Academy, and Eli always requested to play with him.
Eli already having chemistry with a rookie that was considered to be the most versatile player in college can jump start the resurgence of a great passing game.

Round 2: Weston Richburg - C - Colorado State - With their second pick, the Giants address their awful offensive line with a smart, tough center. The center position especially has been a rough mix of injuries and incompetence over the past couple of seasons. Richburg, a team captain, displayed his talents as a great pull blocker in college. That means he can run to the outside to create holes for screen plays or tosses to the outside.
He may not be able to step right into the starting role, but he’s smart enough to dictate the blocking scheme to the rest of the line, which used to be Eli’s job, but that will probably change with the new offensive coordinator.

Round 3: Jay Bromley - DT - Syracuse - Picking Bromley in the third round is a risky pick. He may not be “NFL ready” just yet, but what prevents him from being a starting defensive tackle can be developed. He was a team captain at ‘Cuse, so he’s got a good work ethic and a good head on his shoulders. He’s got very good size and a longer reach than Aaron Donald, which is fitting because many people thought this pick was a reach.
If he can hone his skills, this Jamaica, Queens native could be a disruptive force for the depleted defensive line.

Round 4: Andre Williams - RB - Boston College - His college teammates called him “Edgar”, because of affinity for poetry and his talents in writing. He’s a team captain, a teacher’s assistant, and he’s even in the middle of writing a novel. It’s not just his academia that’s impressive, he’s an absolute monster on the field. He was a Heisman finalist. The first Heisman finalist from BC since Doug Flutie in ‘84. In other words, the last time an Eagle was a finalist, movies like The Terminator and Beverly Hills Cop were in theaters!

30 years ago this movie came out, and a tiny quarterback from BC won the Heisman.

He was able to get the nomination because of his ability to get huge stats on a sub-par team. In 2013, he accumulated 2,102 rushing yards, averaged 6.4 yards per carry, and score seventeen touchdowns. Those are very good numbers, but when you factor in that BC was ranked 113th in passing in 2013, it shows that Williams was able to get those numbers when every opponent was stacking the line against him.
Even though he isn’t a versatile back, and the Giants’ backfield already crowded, he’ll be perfect for the Giants. He’s as tough as Edgar Allen Poe is morbid. This warrior poet might be the smartest bruiser running back out there. I can see him being a more effective, and more reliable Andre Brown. He won’t break off many long touchdown runs, but he can eat up yards, and clock like Pac Man eats up white dots.

Round 5: Nat Burhe - S - San Diego State - I have to be honest I know very little of the draft picks from here on out, but I’ll try my best to seem like I know what I’m talking about. Nat was a team captain at San Diego State where he collected ninety-four tackles his junior year and ninety-nine tackles his senior year. Apparently, this guy was also a team captain.
With Antrel Rolle holding it down at safety, and Stevie Brown coming back from injury, it looks like this pick was made for depth purposes. Especially since the only safety that will be under contract after 2014 is last year’s fifth rounder Cooper Taylor.

Round 5: Devon Kennard - OLB - USC - Kennard is kind of in between an outside linebacker and a defensive end. But just like many of the other player that were drafted, he was a team captain. Unfortunately, he also has an injury history. Following the 2010 season, he had hip and thumb surgeries, and tore a pectoral muscle before the 2012 season.
He won’t be lining up behind the defensive line any time soon, but if he makes plays on special teams, and develops his skills, we could eventually see him as a starter.

Round 6: Bennett Jackson - CB - Notre Dame - Jackson is another team captain drafted by the Giants. Besides that he doesn’t have much to offer. He’s just a depth pick that might be able to contribute on special teams.

The Giants didn’t have a seventh round pick because of the trade for Jon Beason.

In addition to these seven picks, the Giants signed several undrafted free agents. Here’s a list of the more notable UFAs:
Xavier Grimble - TE - USC
Kerry Wynn - DE - Richmond
Kelcy Quarles - DT - South Carolina
Emmanuel Dieke - DE - Georgia Tech
Dan Fox - LB - Notre Dame
Eathyn Manumaleuna - DT - Utah
Justin Anderson - LB - Louisiana Lafayette
Thomas Gordon - S - Michigan
C.J. Barnett - S - Ohio State
Jordan Stanton - DT - James Madison

Will any of these guys make a huge impact for the Giants? Who knows? I don’t know if anybody really expected Victor Cruz to come out of free agency to be a top receiver in the league, either.

So what have I learned?

Ok, maybe I could review this movie before it was even made.

I wouldn’t say that the Giants killed this draft. But they made some solid picks that can improve the team for years to come. The evaluation of the 2014 really rests in the hands in Odell Beckham Jr. If he can prove to be a high caliber player, it will be considered a good draft, if he turns out to be the wide receiver equivalent of Blended, Reese is in trouble.

With a number of team captains being drafted, it looks like the Giants put a premium on high-character players that could eventually work their way up to be starters. Most rookies need work to develop their skills, but the Giants hope that these more mature draftees will need little mental development which will hopefully lead to an easier transition from college to the pros.
Jerry Reese didn’t risk any draft picks on physical specimens that might not be mature enough, or mentally NFL ready. Instead, he went with players that aren’t all that sexy, but are smart, have a great work ethic, and stay out of trouble. Kind of like Edward Norton.

The face of the Giants' 2014 Draft. Doesn't look like much, but you can't argue with success.

2014 Draft

"The Jets select, the clone of Jim Brown! Wait. Why are you booing?"

The NFL Draft is only a few days away, which means one thing; no, not a bunch of drunk Jets’ fans booing whatever name Commish Goddell announces as the newest member of Gang Green. Although, that will happen too. I’m actually talking about the kickoff of the NFL Preseason.

With the twelfth pick of this year’s draft, the Giants look to continue their daunting task of a quick rebuild of their team. Jerry Reese and Company have been very busy, signing sixteen new arrivals including running back Rashad Jennings, corner back Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, and a familiar face with receiver Mario Manningham. They also re-signed eight of their players, most notably linebacker Jon Beason and safety Stevie Brown. But, unfortunately, all of this comes at a cost as the Giants lose Justin Tuck, Hakeem Nicks, Andre Brown, and Linval Joseph.

It’s been a while since the Giants have had a pick this early in the draft. 2006 was the last time they earned the twelfth pick, but that was traded to the Chargers. Since then, the Giants’ have picked in the top half of the draft only once. That was in 2010. 

But if there’s a year that the Giants need an early draft pick, it’s this one. Big Blue’s roster has more holes in it than Sonny at the tollbooth. Reese’s draft philosophy of taking the best player available will certainly be useful in the reconstruction of the roster especially since the best available player will most likely be a major need for the Giants.

"Let's go to pick number one, HA HA, two, HA HA, three..."

But who will the Giants take? What player will be the G-Men’s first round pick, and the cornerstone of this year’s draft? Don’t worry, the drafts experts from ESPN and NFL media shine some light on who the Giants might take. I’ve heard names like C.J. Mosley (‘Bama linebacker), Eric Ebron (UNC tight end), Aaron Donald (Pitt defensive tackle), and Zack Martin (Notre Dame offensive tackle) being thrown around. To be honest, I’d be happy with any of those picks. They are high caliber players and they all play a position of great need.

The truth is that nobody really knows what will happen in this draft. Not even the Count Von Count of ESPN draft coverage, Mel Kiper Jr., knows what player is going where. It doesn’t matter if you analyze hours of game footage, talk to every GM, or look like a Muppet vampire with an obsession with numbers. It’s impossible to nail every pick.

Now obviously I don’t have the resources of ESPN, or all of the NFL media outlets, so I won’t even try to predict what the Giants will do. I’ll just talk about what positions really need to be focused on during this draft. Maybe I’ll even throw in a few names of players that I think would be a good fit for the Giants.

One of the main reasons for the Giants’ success over the last few years has been their strong defensive line. And now with the loss of Justin Tuck, their best lineman is JPP. The problem is that he was banged up all of last season. Hopefully he can be the Haitian of Domination that we all know he can be. But even if he turns himself around, he’s only one man in a four man line. The Giants will need some playmakers.
Who they should/could draft:
Aaron Donald - DT - Pittsburgh or Scott Crichton - DE - Oregon State

Staying on the same side of the ball, the linebackers have been a perennial need for the Giants. The resigning of Beason was essential to make the linebacking core somewhat decent. Unfortunately, the two stud linebackers in this draft, Jadeveon Clowney and Khalil Mack, will be taken before the Giants have a chance to draft them. They will have to pick up a linebacker in the later rounds.
Who they should/could draft:
Demarcus Lawrence - LB - Boise State

The Giants’ secondary was also in disarray last year. Aside from Antrel Rolle and Prince Amukamara, there weren’t too many playmakers in the pass defense. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie was a necessary pick up for Big Blue. Also, Stevie Brown will be coming back from an injury, which is good because Giants’ burn-out of a safety, Will Hill, is facing yet another suspension due to a failed drug test. And with the sub-par play of the defensive line, it’s safe to say that the Giants need help at cornerback.

"What's up Coach?! You got any weed?"

Who they should/could draft:
Lamarcus Joyner - CB - Florida State or Stanley Jean-Baptiste - CB - Nebraska

Other than all of that, the defense is in ship shape. Now onto talking about the holes in offense.

There are some things that you can't unsee.

In 2013, the Giants offensive line was just that... offensive. Like an unearthed sex tape of Mama June Shannon kind of offensive. Holes weren’t opening for the running game and the opposing front sevens would tear through them as if they were powered up by a Super Mario Super Star. Last year’s first round pick, Justin Pugh, was effective as a rookie lineman. The Giants should look into drafting a lineman that can make an immediate impact on their team. It’s almost a guarantee that the two best lineman, Greg Robinson and Jake Matthews, won’t drop to twelve, but there will be others that can make a difference in the upcoming season.
Who they should/could draft:
Taylor Lewan - OT - Michigan or Zack Martin - OT - Notre Dame

Another need that the G-Men have this year are receivers. With Hakeem Nicks gone, the two weapons in the passing game are Victor Cruz and Rueben Randle. But it’s okay, because they got Mario Manningham back! Please hold your applause.
A lot went wrong for the passing game last year. A lot of picks were thrown. Some were awful throws, some could be blamed on the receivers not running the correct route. I thought that last year’s addition of Brandon Myers was going to be very good for Eli. But he wasn’t the reliable target I thought he was going to be.
The main problem with the passing game last year really boiled down to two things; the complicated option routes schemed by Kevin Gilbride, and that Eli never adapted to his receivers by “dumbing down” his reads to be on the same page as them. But the late emergence of Jerrel Jernigan is a positive sign of things to come.
Who they should/could draft:
Eric Ebron - TE - North Carolina

So what have I learned?

This is the draft of Jerry Reese’s life. His past draft accuracy has been very disappointing lately. Let’s just say if played Goldeneye like he drafts, he’d achieve the “Mostly Harmless” award. If he wants to earn the trust of Giants‘ fans, he’s gotta crush this draft.    

See you at the Facility, Jerry.

The Giants have a ton of options to better their team. With as many needs as the Giants have, the best scenario is a draft that’s loaded with talent. Just as long as they don’t draft another damn quarterback.