Dear Santa,
It’s me, Grant. I haven’t spoken to you in quite some time. I know you usually don’t get letters, or any type of correspondence from people in their thirties, but I’m desperate. No, I’m not asking for anything fancy. Not a PS4, an expensive watch, or even one of those cool BB-8 toys you can control with your phone.
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| You know what, I'd be fine with a BB-8, and/or a puppy this Christmas. |
This year I just don’t want the Giants to implode.
They certainly didn’t do themselves any favors in that game against the Redskins. They had a chance to take a solid lead in the division with only five games left, but for some reason, they came out flatter than an Eli post game interview.
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| Merry Christmas, Rueben. You dummy. |
Towards the end of the game, the offense started clicking. But by then the reindeer have already left stable. Which is horrible in your case, considering that they can fly.
The offense was dreadful for the most part. Eli had three picks, and one of them was in the endzone. Two of those picks, including that one in the endzone, weren’t really Penguin Boy’s fault. I’m not making excuses for the guy, he’s lucky that he didn’t throw six picks during that game. His first bounced off the hands of Vereen. His second bounced off the hands of Harris, but that was only when he tried to catch a ball that should’ve been intercepted cleanly in the first place. His third was to Rueben Randle. As you know, Santa, when you throw to good ol’ Ruebes, you run the risk of throwing a pick. This was the case where he ran a lazy route, and didn’t fight for the ball. He let the interception happen in the endzone. In fact, while you’re out delivering presents all over the world in a few weeks, maybe give Randle a DVD on how to play the position he gets paid to play.
The main problem the Giants’ offense was the big guys up front. They fared just as well as Frosty would on a Las Vegas summer day. Pugh, and Richburg didn’t play due to injuries, and Schwartz left the game early with a broken leg. So the effective Redskins defensive line ripped through Eli’s protection like wrapping paper. This caused many of the issues that Big Blue’s offense encountered.
The defense gave up a huge touchdown to DeSean Jackson, which I can’t stand, but for the most part played fine. They didn’t have a great second quarter, but they only gave up three points for the rest of the game. At the end of the game, though, the Giants defense let the Skins run all over them to lock up their victory.
You know, I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you this. You see everything. So let’s talk about what I want from you for Christmas.
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| I hope you got a few Giants' wins, as well as a few Redskins' losses in that sack. |
The Giants put themselves in a tough spot, but because the rest of the division is in shambles, they still have a shot of finishing in first with a sub-par team. The Eagles stink more than your suit after your annual worldwide journey, and the Cowboys, well, you know some of them from being on your “naughty” list. The team they need to worry about the most, the Redskins, embarrassed them last week.
Their next game is against the New York Jets. This game has huge playoff implications for both teams. So their “rivalry” will have to take a back seat, even though it really can’t be a rivalry if your games occur as frequently as Presidential elections. This is also a better Jets team then they’ve had in the past. They traded up when they replaced Rex Ryan with Todd Bowles.
This isn’t the same Jets’ team from earlier this year, though. Their quarterback, the bearded Ryan Fitzpatrick goes back and fourth from being Fitzmagic to Fitztragic. Hopefully he’s less Harry Potter, and more Willie Loman this Sunday.
What scares me the most for this game is that the Jets’ defensive line will treat the Giants’ offensive line like Hamsterdam. Santa, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen
The Wire, but Hamsterdam was an area in Baltimore where you were free to sell, and use drugs without police interference. So I’m worried the Jets’ defensive front will just have their way with Eli’s protection. Of course, I won’t be as worried if Pugh and Richburg are back this week.
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| One is Todd Bowles, the coach of the Jets. The other is Howard Colvin, the creator of Hamsterdam. |
The Giants did catch a break this week with Darelle Revis missing this game. This will ensure that DRC’s cousin, Antonio Cromartie, will cover Odell which is a better match up for Beckham. It also thins out the Jets’ secondary, which gives room for Harris, Nicks, and (GULP!) Randle to shine.
So Santa, if you want to give me the best present since the
Ghostbusters Firehouse playset, please let the Giants be relevant by the time you roll from house to house. I’ll be sure to leave out milk and cookies, but they are out of the playoff hunt, and I have to see Kirk Cousin clinch the division, I’m gonna bake those cookies with the strongest laxative I can find.
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| You better deliver like you did back in '86. If not, you will be forever known as Crap Kringle. Seriously, though, thanks for that Firehouse. I had a blast with it. |
