Week Seven 2014: Giants at Cowboys/Bye Week

I knew the Giants wouldn’t play as terribly against the Cowboys as they did with the Eagles. However, even though they played better, it wasn’t enough to get the win in Dallas. Let’s face it, the Giants could’ve played light years better in Dallas than they did in Philly and it still would’ve been the cinema equivalent to The Room. Here is a clip below. And no, this didn't win any Oscars.

There really isn’t much to take away from this game. The Giants were playing a better team who were red-hot that particular week, but Big Blue didn’t do themselves any favors by making a whole bunch of mistakes. Even with all of the mistakes that would have Coughlin gnawing off his own arms out of rage, the Giants still had a shot to win the game. It makes you wonder how that game would’ve unfolded if they played smarter. Despite the mental errors, you have to stop Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray, and the Giants couldn’t do that either. Long story short, the Giants were out-classed by a superior team.

After their tough loss, I needed to re-assess how I feel about the Giants for the rest of this season. So after some soul searching fit for a Nicholas Sparks book, I came to the conclusion that the Giants aren’t quite there yet.
After this loss to the Cowboys, the Giants have a rough road ahead if they have any chance of making the playoffs. That’s not entirely doing it justice. You’d have a better chance explaining to Superman how badly it hurts stepping on a Lego while barefoot than the Giants have at making the playoffs. As a Giants’ fan, you have to face the facts that the Giants probably aren’t good enough yet.
Realistically, their best shot of making it to the playoffs is by winning the NFC East. Playoff caliber teams are scattered around the NFC like Jose Canseco’s middle finger, so the idea of the G-Men grabbing a wild card is an even bigger stretch then winning the division.

I know Plax shot himself too, but if there was anyone less qualified to own a gun, it's Canseco.

Now even though it’s a stretch that puts the Incredible Hulk’s pants to shame, the division can be won. The Giants are going to need some help from the rest of the league. For the remainder of the season, the rest of the NFC East needs to get pounded on to level the playing field. But even if the Giants get that help, they still gotta take care of their own games. Even though they lost to both the Eagles and the Cowboys, there is still a silver lining... at least they were both away games. This leaves Big Blue to balance out these losses at Metlife Stadium, which is possible.

On to the Next One:
Aside from the big divisional games, the Giants are entering a really rough three game stretch. A gauntlet of tough teams. But for the sake of brevity, I’ll only discuss the first one. The first game is this coming Monday Night against the Colts.
The bearded one, Andrew Luck, is the leader of a prolific offense that can put up an obscene amount of points. The pressure is on the defense to put pressure on Ol’ Beardy and put a lid on the passing game.

"Tell Ezekiel that I'll help raise the barn after the game!"

The Giants are most likely going to struggle with containing the run, especially now that Jon Beason is out for the season. And we all know that Bradshaw is going to be an absolute monster against his former team.
On offense, Eli and his band of misfits need to keep up with the Colts' offense if they have any chance of winning. The offensive line needs to protect Eli and limit their mistakes. Eli’s been much improved this season, but with the amount of points they need to score, I hope he doesn’t revert back to his old, world’s most polite gunslinger self, while trying to keep up.
The receivers need to be there for Eli. They have to run the right routes, make the catches, and not turn the ball over. I’m talking to you, Larry Donnell.
The offensive line has to play smarter. They need to limit their mistakes, and their penalties. That could prove to be the difference in the game.
It’s already confirmed that Rashad Jennings isn’t playing, so it looks like Andre Williams and Peyton Hillis will handle the rushing duties on Monday night.

Either way, this game should be an exciting one. But, prime-time Giants always make me a bit nervous. Hopefully, they can come back well rested and ready to put their hat in the ring for the fight of the NFC East.

So what have I learned?

The Giants really need Rashad Jennings back. The absence of a solid running game is hurting the entire team. In the meantime, I hope that Andre Williams can prove himself to be a reliable starting running back.

The loss of Jon Beason probably won’t hurt as badly as I think. I mean, yes, he’s a great player when he’s healthy. But the problem is that he’s basically made up of porcelain and cold cuts, so the Giants may have grown accustomed to not playing with him.

Jameel McClain isn’t the mike. No matter what Tony Romo says.

"NO, I'M NOT THE MIKE! I'M JAMEEL!"

Week Six 2014: Giants at Eagles

Well, that was awful. Is awful the right term? Horrible? Embarrassing? Pathetic? How about disgusting, does that work? Good. This game was the kind of disgusting that makes rolling around the Penn Station bathroom floor at three a.m. seem like laying out on a Maui beach.

It doesn't seem that disgusting now. But let's just say by three a.m. it gets a bit... soggy.

From the very beginning, the Eagles had the Giants’ number. Big Blue found themselves in more hot water than a Real World cast member who discovered the hot tub in their house.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen the Eli face, but we saw plenty of that goofy mug this past Sunday night. He completed just over half of his passes for only one hundred and fifty-one yards, and obviously no touchdowns. It’s hard to blame him for his lackluster play, though. Manning was constantly under pressure from the Eagles’ pass attack. Just like someone farting in the shower and being engulfed in stink, Eli was engulfed with black jerseys. It was as equally inescapable as it was unsettling.

The main reason why Eli was running for his life was because of the awful offensive line play. The defense cut through the offensive line like The Bride’s katana cut through all of the Crazy 88s. Besides the first game against the Lions, the o-line has been on point. But they completely unraveled against Philly.

Part of this game should of been in black and white to make it less graphic.

The lack of Rashad Jennings had much more of an effect then I thought it would. While Andre Williams can make some plays, as we saw him completely truck stick Eagles’ defensive back Malcolm Jenkins, but I think he’s too green for a starting role. He’s definitely not on the same level as Jennings, and it shows as the Giants were one dimensional on offense. The Giants being down early also caused the offense to abandon the run as well.

wait for it.. BOOM!

The receivers obviously didn’t do much because Eli didn’t do much. You can’t have one without the other. The big story with the receiving corps was the devastating injury to Victor Cruz. While going for it on fourth down, Eli throws a ball to Cruz in the end zone. As Cruz jumps and tries to secure the catch he grabs for his right knee. When he lands without the ball, he just lays there clutching his knee and screaming in pain. Players on both teams were taking a knee in support of Cruz. Even the usually vicious Philadelphia fans were relatively quiet while Cruz was getting looked at on the field. This injury stole any chance of winning from the Giants just like that drunk girl stole the prosthetic leg from Sonny Forriest Jr. at the Eagles game.

Stay classy, Philadelphia.

On the defensive side of the ball, they held it together as well as they could. The offense couldn’t piece together any long drives, so the defense was always on the field. They picked off Foles twice, one of those picks almost went the distance. But McCoy and Sproles ran all over the Giants. Of course, McCoy sucks for five weeks, then when he’s up against the Giants, the offensive line clicks and he suddenly gets his groove back.

I was actually surprised that the special teams didn’t give up any big plays. Yes, they let Sproles have a big punt return, but he didn’t take any to the house. So there’s that.

Basically, this was a game where nothing went right for the Giants. This game was full of questionable referee calls, devastating injuries, and overall poor execution. But besides that, everything went well...

On to the Next One:
This coming Sunday, the Giants will face off against the Cowboys in Dallas. As a Giants fan, this is probably the last team you want to face. The Giants are coming off of an absolute beatdown, and the Cowboys just solidified themselves as one of the best teams in football after beating the Seahawks in Seattle (Don’t get me wrong I hate the Seattle fans and I’m glad they lost at home. But did it really have to be to the Cowboys?)

This is going to be a knock-down, drag-out brawl. I’m saying it’s going to be a brawl, because it needs to be a brawl. The G-Men need to come out swinging and prove to the world that last week's game was the fluke, not the previous three.
First of all, lets see if the offensive line can protect Eli Manning. If Manning only gets two seconds to throw the ball, they’ll be in trouble again. Andre Williams and Peyton Hillis need to step up and give Dallas a reason to worry about the run. The receivers, especially Odell Beckham Jr., need to fill the void that’s left with the absence of Victor Cruz. That’s easier said then done considering that the Cowboys defense is stingy against receivers. This leaves room for Larry Donnell to make some plays. You might see a lot of balls thrown his way on Sunday.

Jerry finally opened up his eyes and put together a good team.

On the defensive side of the ball, the key is to contain DeMarco Murray. Ever since Dallas opened their eyes and decided to utilize a game plan revolving around a great running back, the Cowboys offense looks very good. The Giants haven’t been great against running backs this year, so they have their work cut out for them. Also, since Jerry Jones drafted smart and got Zack Martin instead of Manziel, Tony Romo has been very well protected.
And on some plays when the rushing attack breaks through, he became harder to wrap up then a greased pig on cocaine. The Giants have to take him out of rhythm early and make sure he doesn’t get back into that rhythm. The loss of McBride and potentially DRC is gonna put a lot of pressure on the secondary, so the front four needs to change the direction of the game in their favor.

This game is winnable for the Giants. Obviously, it won’t be easy. They gotta play smart, and play tough. The Cowboys are coming off of a game that was both physically and emotionally draining, but they are still one of the best teams in football right now. But maybe, just maybe, the Giants can steal a victory here as if it were cologne and underwear.

So what have I learned?

Maybe, and I hate to say this, the G-Men needed to get their asses kicked. With a three game winning streak, some of the Giants started to run their mouths a bit. Maybe they took those three wins for granted. It was the game that the Giants deserve, but not the game it needs right now.

The Cowboys could have been this good for a while if they were smarter with their drafting and offensive schemes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that Jerry was running his team like a kid playing with G.I. Joes in the bathtub, but now it seems that he turned it around.

If there was ever a time for ODB to make up for his lost time, it’s right now. He’s gonna have a ton of opportunities, and he’s talented enough to make the best of them.

Now that McBride is out, Jayron Hosley is stepping in as a corner. This concerns me quite a bit considering that he’d have trouble defending a sleeping bulldog. He claims he’s in a better state mentally, let’s hope so.

Even in the Giants’ Super Bowl seasons, they lost a game or two in horrible fashion, but in those Super Bowl seasons they responded well to those losses and became a team to be reckoned with. Every team faces adversity during a season. Only the truly great teams learn from that adversity, overcome it, and come back even stronger. It’s time to find out if the Giants are truly great this year.

Week Five 2014: Giants vs Falcons

(Disclaimer: I didn’t watch any of this game. I was driving through New England, so obviously I couldn’t watch the FOX broadcast of it. So instead, I listened to Bob Papa and Carl Banks call the game on the radio as soon as I got into central Connecticut.
Apologies if the game recap isn’t as stellar as you’re accustomed to.)

Sunday’s win over the Falcons makes three in a row for the G-Men. This win in particular was just what they needed, a come from behind victory. This win wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. But wins in this league are almost never easy, and the fact that the Giants finished strong on all sides of the ball is something to be positive about. 

As you can see, being Sagat isn't all that bad.

Eli Manning was on point again. He wasn’t in full on boss mode like he was last week, but he was still a boss. He wasn’t quite M. Bison, he was more like Sagat throwing around Tiger Uppercuts on Atlanta's secondary. He completed sixty-three percent of his passes, completed passes to seven different receivers, threw two touchdown passes, all without throwing a single interception.

The running attack was solid again. Between Jennings, Williams, and Hillis, they ran for one hundred and twenty seven yards, with Williams getting the majority of those yards with sixty-five. To clarify, Hillis only got seven of those yards. Jennings unfortunately went down with an injury in the third quarter. Luckily, the warrior poet took over the starting role with ease and ran over defenders.

Larry Donnell didn’t have a single catch this game. That being said, the rest of the receiving core played well. Everyone seems to be on the same page as Eli. They are getting open and they aren’t making many mistakes. More importantly, we all finally saw the shiny new toy that is Odell Beckham Jr., a.k.a. ODB. This smoothly running passing game has gotten stronger with the help of this rookie from LSU.

Blocking was successful again. For the quick passes Eli throws, he had all the time in the world to make good decisions. Eli only got sacked once, and if it had to be by anybody, I’m glad it was Osi. The front five also did a good job with creating running lanes for the rookie running back.

The Giants defense overall did a good job keeping a lid on the Atlanta offense. One of the two touchdowns scored was a result of Antrel Rolle blowing a tackle on a screen play that led to Falcons’ running back Antone Smith breaking a seventy-four yard touchdown.
Something like that is uncharacteristic of Rolle, like how making good movies is uncharacteristic of Nicholas Cage.
It took a while for the Giants’ defensive line to make Matt Ryan feel uncomfortable. Matty Ice was standing behind that terrible offensive line and was relatively unfazed for a majority of the game. In fact, he didn’t get sacked until there was a little less than five minutes left in the game. But that sack made all the difference in the game. While down by seven points, the Falcons decided to go for it on fourth and one. But defensive tackle Jonathan Hankins burst into the backfield like a grizzly bear on bath salts and dropped Matty Ice for a nine yard loss. That play put the game away.
The secondary played well.  Julio Jones got over one hundred yards, but it’s not easy to stop him. Besides that and Rolle’s missed tackled, I was happy with their performance.

Special teams, specifically the return game, is still in as bad a shape as Geno Smith’s grasp of time zones. Preston Parker fumbled a kickoff which lead to an easy three points for Atlanta. Josh Brown saved the special teams by nailing three field goals, one of which was a fifty yarder.

Overall, this was a great win. It was a “character win”. The Giants overcame adversity late and were able to dominate on both offense and defense.

Buy This Guy A Beer: Odell Beckham Jr. made an immediate impact with the Giants. He spent a lot of time on the sidelines so far this season. But when he finally stepped on that field, it was worth the wait. He made big catches, including a jump ball touchdown which gave Big Blue the lead.

"Odell is Groot."

It’s easy to fall short of the expectations, especially since it took so long to happen. Think Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Instead he fit right in the Giants game plan. I know it was only his first game, but so far ODB has met my high expectations. Think Guardians of the Galaxy.
This could be the beginning of a great tandem between Eli and Beckham. Think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. You know, without the whole shootout in Boliva where they both die, thing.

On to the Next One:
The Philadelphia friggen Eagles. This rivalry has gotten so out of hand that Bradley Cooper feels like he needs to throw his hat in to defend Philly. Well ya know what, pretty boy? You can take your Oscar nominations, and your beautiful blue eyes, and your chiseled features, and mind your own damn business! It’s funny how all this started because of one picture that DRC and the Fresh Prince took with a fan, and JPP saying that the Eagles could theoretically (my words, not his) be winless this year. This isn’t really the spirited trash talk that everyone’s accustomed to between these two teams.

But let’s talk actual football now. For the most part I think the Giants can take care of business on offense. The Eagles just gave up twenty eight points to the Rams, I don’t think they’ll be able to stop the new look Giants’ offense.

Defensively, they gotta stop the running game. They’ve done a pretty good job keeping the opponents running game in check so far this season. They have their hands full this week though. Yes, Shady McCoy is a great running back, but he hasn’t been himself this year. Who I’m most concerned about is Sproles out of the backfield. He could easily catch a pass in the backfield and take it to the house. Jon “Liam” Beason will back this Sunday. I gave him that nickname because like Liam Neeson, Jon Beason does his job and leaves a pile of bodies in his wake. But the Giants need to terrorize Nick Foles. I want that horse-mouthed punk to fear the defensive line, like I fear Twisty the Clown. Every time the wind slams a door shut in his house, I want him to think JPP is lurking in the shadows or hiding under his bed.

This is Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story. He is the reason why my bedroom is booby trapped like the McAllister House.

The special teams could be problematic for the Giants. If you take Big Blue’s poor special teams play, and then throw in the inexplicable way the Eagles have been scoring a million special team touchdowns in previous weeks, it's going to be a big headache for the Giants.  

All I know is that this game is gonna be a war. It’s gonna make Rocky vs Drago look like a grade school girls' pillow fight. I do like the Giants‘ chances to win this game, but there’s no way I’d put money on it.  

So what have I learned?

It’s been a while for Giants’ fans to watch a meaningful game. Obviously this isn’t an “be all end all” game, but it’s does have a lot of weight to it.

The Giants’ offensive weapons are like whack-a-moles. Larry Donnell get’s bottles up by the Falcons and Odell Beckham Jr. is there to make plays. It looks like the amount of weapons Eli gets to use are endless.

This team is getting some swagger. As much as I like to see a self-assured Giants team, I always get nervous that they’ll take their eyes off the prize. The “us against the world” mentality seemed to work better over the years. But after losing their first six games last year, it’s refreshing to see the G-Men with confidence.  

Prince has become very brash ever since he got the d wet .

Week Four 2014: Giants at Redskins

This past Thursday, the Giants completely spanked the Redskins. The name Redskins finally seems  appropriate because their asses are red from the spanking they got from the Eli and company. It was a game that needed to be won to get into the early hunt for NFC East supremacy, and the Giants won it... big time.

He's about as graceful as a drunk rhino

The offense was an efficient destroying machine. It was basically SkyNet with blue helmets, and it all started at quarterback. Eli was the text book definition of "in the zone." He completed seventy two percent of his passes for three hundred yards and four touchdowns. The fleet-footed gazelle of a quarterback even ran one in. As Eli told Deion Sanders after the game, “You can’t coach speed.”

The offensive line did another fantastic job with both run and pass blocking. Even though Eli got rid of the ball a lot faster than anyone’s accustomed to, the big guys up front created a nice pocket for him. They also formed running lanes for Rashad Jennings, Andre Williams, and Peyton Hillis. Yes, there was a Peyton Hillis sighting.

Speaking of the running game, the triple threat (which is actually one frontman, Jennings, with Williams and Hillis backing him up) played well against Washington. Their run defense has been stingy lately, but the Giants were up to the task of running all over them. They put the most rushing yards on Washington with one hundred and fifty-four rushing yards.
Because of Jennings’ three thousand carries against the Texans only a few days earlier, Andre Williams got a heavier workload then he’s used to. However, he did not disappoint. He wasn’t the second coming of Walter Payton by any stretch, but the warrior poet proves that he can be a serviceable back if need be.

The receivers and tight ends were even more in synch with Eli. The biggest pass catching contributor was Larry Donnell. The ramblin’ man from Gramblin’ caught three touchdown passes, and he seemed to be a tremendous target on third downs. His big six foot six frame, along with his jumping ability, makes it almost impossible for Eli to overthrow him.
Cruz had a drop on his first pass attempt, which instantly gave the Giants’ fans that worrisome feeling when you fart and maybe got more than you bargained for. But he got it together and had a great game.
There were very few mistakes made. There were a few drops. One notable drop would have been a guaranteed touchdown for Jennings. There was also a strange play where Reuben Randle caught the ball, landed in the endzone, then got the ball knocked out of his hands, which was caught by Washington’s Keenan Robinson. This play was somehow ruled an interception. I still don’t know if I quite understand it. I didn’t think you needed a “football move” if you land in the endzone with the ball. I don’t think I’ll understand it. Like how ignorant white guys who call into Mike Francesa’s sports show and say, “Ya know Mike, not for nothin’, but I wouldn’t be offended if the Redskins were named ‘The Crackers.’” will never understand that it’s not the same thing, and that’s not a valid argument in the whole Redskins name change debate.

"Dom from the car, what's on your mind?"

But thankfully, that mind boggling call didn’t make a huge difference because Cousins threw an interception a few plays after that Eli/Randle interception. In fact, that was only one of four interceptions thrown by Cousins. The defense was on point on Thursday. They were flying all over the field, having fun, and making plays. There were a few times where it looked like the Redskins were building momentum, but the Giants defense literally ripped it out of their hands.
The d-line was able to generate a good amount of pressure on the quarterback. They only sacked Cousins twice, but the sack by Kiwi caused a fumble. That led to the Giants first score of the night.

Although he looks the part, he's NOT Bigfoot.

Aside from a few blown coverages on running backs, the linebackers played well. They were able to contain Washington’s running game, and didn’t allow them to reach one hundred yards. Also, McClain was instrumental in the Logan Paulson fumble just before halftime. McClain held Paulson in his place while Trumane McBride ripped the ball away like he was waxing Bigfoot. That fumble saved the Giants from letting up a scoring drive before halftime.
The secondary was all kinds of nasty against the ‘Skins. They were able to read Cousins’ eyes and make plays all night. I’m not only talking about the interceptions. DRC and the Fresh Prince kept DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon in check the entire night.

Buy This Guy a Beer: I’m not gonna lie, this a tough call. It could easily be a few players. But I’m gonna go ahead and buy Eli Manning that beer, or shirley temple, whatever he drinks. He has absolutely taken over this offense and made it his own. This became very clear during this win over Washington. During a lot of games he looks like a kid who dropped his ice cream cone. But that night, he was all smiles. He looked confident, he looked comfortable, and he looked like a winner.

He still looks like a goofball, a victorious goofball.

Now, I have to keep my excitement in check. This is the NFL after all.
It’s true that two games leading up to Thursday night’s showdown the Redskins' offense was absolutely on fire. They had big games against Jacksonville and Philly. But those defenses are about as effective as Kris Jenner homeschooling.
Even though the Giants tore apart the Redskins like Magneto fighting an army of tin men, you still have to remember this is a week to week league, and anything can happen.

On to the Next One:
Atlanta is coming into town. The Flacons are a team of ups and downs. But what’s good for the Giants, is that the downs are outdoor away games. This is a huge test for the Giants’ defense. Let’s see how they handle Julio Jones and that passing attack. Once again DRC and the Fresh Prince will have their hands full.
Offensively, they just have to outscore Atlanta. The Falcons’ defense isn’t very good, and judging by what the Giants have put on the scoreboard the past couple of weeks, it shouldn’t be difficult. Let’s see how this offense will look now, if Odell Beckham Jr finally plays on Sunday. You remember him. No? The Giants’ first round pick? Number thirteen overall? Missed every preseason game and most practices because of a hamstring injury? Anyway, it looks as though he’s gonna play. Let’s see how much action he sees.
But they can’t let up. Coughlin is still telling his team to “keep improving”. They cannot be satisfied with where they are as a team just yet. The masses are starting to get sweet on the Giants, and it also concerns me when that happens. They are much better as underdogs.

So what have I learned?

It’s not only the offense that’s clicking. The defense is firing on all cylinders and is playing like one unit. They encourage each other and motivate each other. That chemistry is really showing on the field.

Larry Donnell is a man. This quarterback turned tight end has been a reliable target for Eli and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

The emergence of Odell Beckham Jr should have a big impact on the Giants offense. This will open up the downfield passing game. You will see Eli air it out to Beckham once he gets used to playing in the offense at game speed. The good news is that even though he hasn't been playing, he's always there. He's in the locker room, he's in the meetings, he's in the walkthroughs. He's basically the team manager that's fulfilling a lifelong dream to actually play for the team.

With the way this team is playing now, they have the ability to go toe to toe with any team. They just have to stay the course and stay focused. And with Coughlin at the helm, that won’t be a problem.