Week 16: Giants at Jets

I was in church when the Giants put the finishing touches on the "Battle for New York" at Giants Stadium. Before the Mass started, some of the people I was with and I were checking out the scores on our phones. So all I see is "Safety by Canty" and "Touchdown by Bradshaw" and "Interception by Webster" then finally "Game Over." It was a Christmas Miracle! Maybe I should start watching more games in Church.

This game was a story of two halves for the Giants. The first half didn't look promising for the Giants. Like usual it was filled with miscues and stupid penalties.
There was a 12 men on the field penalty on a 4th down stop.

For the first half the Giants were lost in New York.

Delay of game penalties that gave the Giants a 3rd and 15 instead of 3rd and 5.
1st and goal on the 2 yard line and they don't give Jacobs the ball and instead try to throw against Revis.
And of course, more and more drops.
"Another Christmas in the trenches," I thought to myself.
But despite all of this they were able to hang in the game.

Needless to say when the Giants were backed up into their endzone I assumed they would buckle and give the Jets some serious momentum. But in an instant that changed with a 99 yard catch and run (mostly run) by Victor Cruz, and the Giants were back on my "Nice" list. Top that with a missed Jets FG to end the half and I started to feel good about this game. "Talk is cheap, play the game."

The second half was filled with the Giants Ghost of Football Pass. They played their brand of football that has worked for them all of these years. That brand is a heavy running game and a dominant front four. They finally found their identity.

"Hey little bro! Merry Christmas!"

The front four finally had a healthy Justin Tuck to work with and it showed. They were crashing the party hosted by the Jets, Beastie Boys style. They did the QB pressure equivalent of throwing pies all over the place. They forced bad throws and put a hurting on Dirty Sanchez whenever they could. And despite being on D'Brickashaw Ferguson, JP2 had a monster game with 5 tackles 2 sacks and 3 QB hits.

Manning didn't have a great game but them getting the win anyway proved that the entire team stepped up. He didn't have to carry the team on his shoulders with the way Jacobs and Bradshaw carried the ball. It was nice to see Gilbride have confidence in his run game for a change.

Here is what I learned: The Giants showed why they should be taken seriously as an entire team. They went back to their old ways and played physical, "hit everyone hard" football. They also cleaned up their penalties a bit in the second half which shows they can play more disciplined football.

 It was also refreshing to see the entire team keep cool under all of the garbage Rex and the Jets were spewing. All of the childish things they did before the game proves they aren't mature enough to be a "big brother". Even if they did win they wouldn't run New York. It's not determined by one game every four years. It's determined by championships, track record, and history. It will always be that way. 

I know I seem to say this every week but hopefully the Giants can keep this intensity up and not give us another serving of hangover football. Although on New Years Day, we might literally see hangover football.

There won't be as much trash talk with the Cowboys as there was with the Jets, and I don't think the Cowboys will cover up the Superbowl banners at Giants Stadium. But these teams still hate each other and the Giants will throw everything at the Cowboys. The front four will need to get after an injured Romo or a novice McGee and hit them often, hopefully the secondary will capitalize on that pressure. The offense needs to continue using the running game and let Eli loose if there are opportunities.

Next Sunday night we will see who win the NFC East. "This is it. Don't get scared now."

Week 15: Giants vs Redskins

Here is the bright side for this game. The one positive I can take away from this game... I only watched half of it. Luckily, I had a family obligation that caused me to miss most of the second half of the Giants debacle.

But here's what I did manage to see:

I saw Rex Grossman throw a pick on the very first offensive play which was followed by a three and out.
I saw Eli Manning throw a bomb which would have been a TD if Hakeem Nicks didn't drop it.
On the following play I saw a beautiful, Feaglesesque punt which would have been on the 1 yard line, however the punt coverage was awful and the ball was a touchback. (For what it's worth, after that succession of plays I said to myself, "If they lose this game, it will be because of those two plays.")
I saw Eli Manning unsuccessfully throw the ball down field multiple times when our running game and short passes were working well. But you know what Gilbride says, if it ain't broke abandon it.
I saw the Redskins covert three 3rd and long 3rd and a mile plays into 1st downs.
I saw a confused Prince Amukamara on my TV screen just before one snap. Sure enough he got burned on that play for a TD.
I saw awful tackling at the hands of Antrel Rolle. If he could play half as big as he talks he actually might make plays on a consistent basis.
I saw Tuck make one tackle and then limp off of the field... again.

Basically, there are so many things that went wrong on Sunday you can't single anyone out. As a team, their effort was pedestrian at best. It was like a Giants game directed by Michael Bay, all flash, no substance and after I saw it I felt like I wasted three hours of my life. The Giants showed no effort, no preparation, and made bad choices. I call this phenomenon "hangover football". (If you think you read this before, yes, I've already talked about it. Thanks for reading and noticing.)

"I don't want your life!
I want a toilet and a bucket... and Gatorade."
-Jonathan "Mox" Moxon

Hangover football actually has two meanings: The first is that they literally look like they are playing like they have the worst case of beer-sh*ts ever, or if they get hit too hard they'll puke all over their jerseys. Their collective head hurts so much that all they can focus on is the thought of laying down in a cool dark room instead of focusing on the game. (Think of that game scene in Varsity Blues after they went to the strip club).  

The second meaning is very familiar to Giants fans. It is when they get a big win and build up all of this confidence but then fall on their face and embarrass themselves. It is also known as the "big game hangover". I think every Giants fan knows exactly what I'm talking about.

So here's what I'm taking away from this Transformers 3 of a Giants game.

The secondary needs to get on the same page. I can no longer watch at Rolle and Webster looking at each other after giving up a huge play and saying, "I thought you had him!"

The front four needs to be more disruptive. Forcing bad throws might improve the secondary's execution.

I know Eli's having a great year but it seemed like they were afraid to run the ball on Sunday. They took way too many shots downfield.
Having said that, if Eli throws it you gotta catch it. It's hard to build momentum when you keep on deflating the team with a huge dropped pass.

But the most important thing they need to do is learn how to bounce back after a huge let down. This applies to both during the game and during the season. If Nicks drops a huge pass, recover. If Amukamara blows a coverage and gives up a ton of yards, recover. If the entire team gets destroyed by a division rival in the middle of a playoff push, recover.

The Giants have painted themselves into a corner. They need to win the last two games. They need to figure out and fix what they're doing wrong. They need to recover.

Week 14: Giants at Cowboys

"When is pitchers and catchers again?" I asked this question last night. I was slightly joking but mostly I was disgusted with the way the Giant were playing.

Offensively: The play calling was incredibly predictable. It's easy to do, folks. All you need to do is guess that every play will be a draw or screen pass and you'll be right over half the time. Gilbride calls for more draws than an outlaw from the wild west a kindergarten teacher. Also, Jacobs shouldn't have gotten eight touches taken away from him by Bradshaw. I know Bradshaw is the better, more versatile running back but Jacobs was back to his old hurdling, steamrolling self. Let him run wild.

Defensively: Demarco Murray broke his ankle and is out for the game. I don't root for injuries but that's a good thing right? Nope. Felix Jones was unstoppable against this Giants defense averaging 6.6 yards per carry. The Giants secondary looked like a bunch of amateurs. In the NFL receivers shouldn't be that open and that shouldn't happen multiple times a game. The terms "Chinese fire drill" or "complete clusterf*ck" come to mind but those sayings cannot begin to describe how bad those plays were.

All of this was going on and I decided to skip the Boardwalk Empire finale.

Then Romo overthrows a game sealing, possibly division sealing, 3rd down throw to a wide open Miles Austin. Now I start to think: The game isn't over. The season isn't over.

Que the Eli Time music (think of something with banjos or a slide guitar in it). Eli goes out and makes more clutch throws, and makes great pre-snap adjustments. He's like the Tim Tebow of quarterbacks.  All he does is win!

Week in and week out he builds a case to support his preseason comments. His makeshift offensive line has been giving him a lot of protection and has been making vertical holes to improve the running game. Also the receivers have stepped up, which is good considering every game might be a shootout. Hakeem Nicks has been on fire lately and is showing everyone how dangerous he can be when he's healthy.

Sure enough he drives down the field to set up a touchdown run by Jacobs. Who I think might have knocked up Cowboys Stadium, Jerry-atric World as I am now calling it, Sunday night after that first touchdown run.  It wasn't the classiest thing he's done but it was great to see Jacobs get back to his Juggernaut self again.

On the other side of the ball there was only one player who decided to show up... Jason Pierre-Paul (JP2). During this losing streak he has been the only Giants defensive player who hasn't quit. Every week he makes plays and does things that make me think he isn't all human. Personally I think his training is like what Blanka went through in the Street Fighter movie. Inject some super strength serum into his bloodstream and force him to watch videos of war and destruction.

All of that "training" pays off as he blocks Bailey's game tying field goal attempt to ensure the Giants victory and keep them in the playoff picture. This win makes the Giants 3-0 in Jerry-atric World. (Cut to Jerry Jones looking like he needs to change his diaper).



"Get me some more Opps I Crapped My Pants."



Since the Giants won, it seems like you need a degree from M.I.T. in order to fully understand how the playoffs can shake out. So here is what I say to them: Just win all of the remaining games and you'll make the playoffs.

I understand how difficult that is. Especially since the team displayed a lot of weaknesses despite getting the win in Dallas. They shouldn't take any of these remaining games lightly. The Redskins should suck but they have been competitive in a lot of games, including beating the Giants in week 1. The Jets are playing good football right now, and the Cowboys are still a really talented team.

This road to the playoffs is a tough one. But the win on Sunday night made it a little bit easier.

Week 13: Giants vs Packers

"I think they'll be competitive." I said this about this before Sunday, before they went toe to toe with the best team in the NFL. But to be perfectly honest, I didn't think it would be that close or exciting, and I also said the same about the Giants/Saints game. I never said I knew what I was talking about.

The Giants did catch some tough breaks and made some bad mistakes. Eli chucked a vintage "Eli pick" which was housed. Will Blackmon, CB #36 (I had to look him up), got smoked by Jordy Nelson so much that after the game he was found eating Funyuns and watching Super Troopers. Everybody standing there like a bunch of goons after Eli's fumble. Also, I'm not sure if the Packers drive with a minute left was more of the defense falling flat or if it was Rodgers being Rodgers. Either way it was tough to watch.



I ain't readin no pamphlet. I gotta chick who's DTF!

 I could also go off on the officiating but that's about as useless and providing safe sex pamphlets for the Jersey Shore house. The calls were technically right, but some of them were Downey soft and wouldn't be called in most games. Some were just bad calls. I still think Jennings never had possession of that touchdown catch. But a perfect team coming off of a Super Bowl season will get those calls.

Now let's focus on the positive. There is no such thing as a good loss, but this was as good as it gets. The entire team was energized and they all put together their best effort (last drive is still under review). It looks like the Giant team that I know and love. A tough, physical team who delivers punches just as well as they absorb them. I'd even venture to say the fact that the Giants loss will most likely keep them hungry and prevent them from becoming complacent.

The most menacing sack celebration.

The D-Line was shot out of a cannon and hitting Rodgers whenever they could. JP2 unleashed the beast and was all over the field hitting people. Seeing Tuck make plays including a sack was incredible. But It wasn't as good as seeing the Tollefson spin kick into the Discount Double Check. And that wasn't as good as seeing Chase Blackburn back in a Giant's uniform and making a huge interception which led to a touchdown. Welcome back, Chase.

Eli was solid as usual. He had one terrible read which was very costly, but threw for 347 yds with 3 TDs. Nicks with his 1st basemen glove like hands reemerged as a dominant receiver. He had full awareness of where the sidelines were and made some great And 1 Mix Tape catches. Bradshaw came back, played good football and contributed to their first 100 yd rushing game since week 9 against New England (Their last win. Coincidence?). Eli was also protected well for most of the game. Mitch Petrus, who filled in at left guard while Kevin Boothe moved to center to fill in for Davis Baas, deserves some recognition for stepping up and playing well on the Giant's O-Line.

So here is what I learned from this game: This game inspired the Giants and gave them a much, much needed confidence boost. They showed us, and more importantly themselves, how good they can play.

Also, thanks to the Falcons, Bears, Lions and Cowboys, they didn't lose any ground.

If they go into Jerry-atric World and play how they played against the Packers, they'll come back with a win. And if they keep that momentum going, they could very well run the table. They just can't soften up. I don't care how they do it (might I suggest watching 300 after every practice) but they need to keep their edge. With how well they played on Sunday their toughest opponent might be themselves.

Week 12: Giants at Saints

One minute and one second left in the fourth quarter and the Saints are driving yet again. Mark Ingram gets the ball and runs to the left side and strolls into the end zone to score a 35 yard TD. As a viewer, I see Corey Webster turn his back on the play and walk toward the bench as soon as Ingram burned him. This is what the Giants defense have become. A lifeless, uninspired, and confused group of men. I struggle to call them a team.

Some players like Antrel Rolle, said they need to show more intensity, show more fire. I've seen more intensity during a game of hungover Thanksgiving football. I can picture this exchange happening in the huddle:
    Deon Grant: "Hey, I'm gonna take the next play off. I think I'm gonna puke."
    Corey Webster: "Ok, that's fine. Just don't cover anybody, I'm sure they'll get tackled."

At least if they were hungover it would make sense that the Saints absolutely clowned them. It seriously looked like a Madden game being played on Pro Rookie. You could tell they had no answers for the Saints by everyone on the defense displaying their best "Eli face." It seemed that every play the "D" was out of position and the only one who was actually trying was Jason Pierre-Paul (JP2 for future reference).

Maybe what the team needs is a team building montage straight outta Mighty Ducks or Little Giants. Maybe even watching these movies could help. The mention of Little Giants brings me to my next point...

It seemed that some receivers channeled their inner "Hot Hands" and decided to not catch some of the balls that were thrown to them. I dunno if some of the receivers are aware of this but without catching the ball, it's tough to get anything going on offense. Having said that, the receivers finally got their act together and Eli completed an amazing 19 consecutive passes.



A little help guys? Why the heck is
Deon Grant passed out behind the Gatorade buckets?



Poor Eli. His best year as a QB plagued by an ineffective running game, a porous offensive line, and receivers not running correct routes, catching the ball, or staying in bounds (I mean you, Nicks). His back must be killing him for carrying his teammates. Remember, you can't spell ELectIve back surgery without ELI.

Despite all of this, against my better judgment I still hold out hope for these jabronies. This is when they (are supposed to) play their best ball: When everyone counts them out. Obviously this didn't work out on Monday. But after they lose to the Packers they have Dallas twice, the Jets, and the Redskins. Those are all winnable games, and the two against Dallas need to be won. If they lose any games to Dallas, Tuck and Jacobs might as well be drinking beer, eating chicken, and playing X BOX in the locker room.

So let's keep hating on this team and build up their "Us Against The World" mentality. Having said that...

Coughlin is going to get fired.

Defense can't stop anybody.

Running game is a disgrace.

I leave you with this great Jim Fassel quote. Get your sh*t together, guys.

“I am raising the stakes right now, ... If this is a poker game, I am shoving my chips right in the middle of the table. I am raising the ante. Anybody who wants out, can get out. This team is going to the playoffs. OK? This team is going to the playoffs.”

Week 11: Giants VS Eagles

Preamble:

This is the first time I'm doing this. I didn't even have the motivation to do this until I saw the disater that was the Giants last night loss to the Eagles. Here goes nothing. But honestly can it be any worse than what happened last night?

There are a lot of things I can take away from this. I'm not going to say the obvious things, like Jacobs is less reliable than getting a stoner friend to pick you up at the airport. Or how back up QBs scare me when Vince Young looked like STEVE Young on an 18 play 9 minute drive. Or how if you don't catch the ball you don't MOVE the ball. Or nothing angered me more than Steve Smith celebrating a TD in Jersey while wearing an Eagles jersey. Or my reaffirmation of how much I despise DeShawn Jackson. (I digress) Besides all of that here is what I actually learned...



"Oh hey Matt, next time don't f*ck my sh*t up!" - Tom Coughlin



If Matt Dodge was still on the Giants the final score would have easily been 42-10 because DeShawn Jackson would have housed almost all of them.

Granted much of those returns would probably be called back because DeShawn Jackson lacks any control to act like a big boy.

The punting putz, kicking calamity, the field-position failure that is Dodge had a knack for kicking the ball in such a way that always put the returners in the best position to get 6. 

Steve Weatherford kept the Giants in that game by effective punting. Yes, he did have a close call where DeShawn Jackson almost housed one but he did make that tackle and overall he punted well. He kicked the ball all over the place, the furthest being 61 yards, and on two punts he was down right Feaglesesque (I'm gonna make that a household frame of reference). I don't like that the Giants were so inept that they punted 9 times but Weatherford planted 4 inside the 20 and put the Eagles in poor field position more times than not.

Having said all of this, you know your team is in serious trouble when the punter is the silver lining.